It definitely Is a serious issue, because when I look at my son, I see MY attachments. Not only My attachments, but the attachments of My parents, my parents parents, and so on … like a long strand of DNA that has evolved over centuries. I find that when I pay attention to His “process”, I learn more about My “process”. And when I can help him Change his “processing”, it not only releases Him from the lineage, but also allows me to release from it as well. Maybe this is part of “plugging the hole”. I’ve worked on changing the “spiritual” make up on a physiological level with intent. I may not be explaining myself well, but I see it nevertheless.
I read through this thread a couple of times and I mentioned to Zam last night, that I could see both sides of the coin. I’ve had the opportunity to watch and learn without becoming too “attached”. My question remains … what is the basis for some of this emotional exchange. I saw “loyalty” … what spawns “loyalty”? … I saw “friendship” … why do we have “friends”? Nichi said somewhere about these being “connections”, or “attachments”. I see “connection” as an ‘acquaintance’, and ‘friend’ as an "attachment". I’ll look for that thread. Interesting questions to work through.
But in regards to parenting, our parents, as their parents and theirs, didn’t teach us “unconditional love”. To me it was All “conditional”. From our first learning experiences, even as a baby … “If you smile, I’ll be “happy” “, “If you learn to walk, look how much “love” (attention) you’ll receive”, “if you can eat with a spoon and fork, we all clap for you”, “look how well you play the piano!” … “you’re a genius!” … “you got straight A’s”, “you’re going to med school? How wonderful!” … and it goes on and on, as our attachment, Not Love grows thicker and thicker. THIS was the “abuser” and the more attention showered the stronger the attachment. But the “abuser” was only doing the “job” to the best of their knowledge, to the best of whatever program They were taught.
Hush said:
“Is that Love?
Being conditioned to believe they need the other. Doesn't sound like love to me.
Anyway, my point was in response to you saying a person can be abused (you used the word beaten) into loving. I still stand by my original statement, that this is simply untrue.
Can they be fooled into thinking it's love, sure. Can they be conditioned into thinking they need the abuser, yes.
Can they be beaten into submission, yes of course. But can anyone be beaten into loving another?”
No, it doesn’t sound like Love to me either. We are “beaten” into “loving” (what we as humans think “loving” is) by a lineage of “abusers” and “torturers”, just by the mere fact that That is our make up, our spiritual DNA, so to say. Is it fair to label them as such? Maybe some would say, “well my parents weren’t abusers”, but even in the Positive sense, they Were … they carried on that Human process that we all eventually See as being chained to and keeping us from “freedom”. The "conditions" ... they “conditioned us to Believe” that we needed them for More than we actually did. Then we in turn do the same with our children.
And then that same “conditioning” bleeds over into our other relationships. I think the “Hole” to be plugged is there whether you have children or not. The “hole” is a genetic mutation passed along to everyone, from what I see.
