I know i'm pretending, It is said that a sorcerer even has no idea what he is doing, he just does it.
Have you read the Blue Cliff Record Knot?
Some but not all of it. I know the story of Bodhidharma well which is why I posted the quote. He comes out not knowing who he is, which seems to be the state of original mind.
http://www.treetopzencenter.org/BlueCliffRecord.html
I am bad. It is like I pick up a book and read half of it, put it down, and come back to it months later. I don't know what is in me which procrastinates but I rarely read the whole thing of everything. But sometimes I do. I read the Harry Potter books LOL. :)
I do the same thing with books! lol Except for the AOD and Being in Dreaming, but mostly, I will read half of it. Also, I start with the end! ;)
Yeah like not really spiritual, but I got the book 50 Shades of Gray. I read three chapters of it and put it down. I will probably pick it up in about eight months. I am terrible with reading part of a book, then coming back to it! I really need ti discipline myself.