Today was my last day at my work. I have been there for 10 years, and with all the changes over the last couple of years, have finally made the move to leave.
Driving today to work, I felt a kind of sad nostalgia; a wishful thinking that things could have been different, and that I could have remained there. I also saw it as a fear of change, albeit veiled. Would be much 'easier' to remain where I was, and the people there were not really all that bad, and and and... all these thoughts flashing through my mind.
At work, my boss was having a 'good day' and was exceptionally pleasant to me. They gave me a farewell morning tea with cake and stuff, and again some staff organized another 'farewell' in the afternoon tea.
Most of the day felt rather 'dreamlike'.
It reminded me in a way of when i got divorced. My divorce was rather amicable and mutual, but I did have the nagging feeling that maybe I should have stayed in the marriage. Again.. this fear of change.
It's interesting that this fear comes up, because I actually like change, and enjoy the 'new'. Yet there is this 'pull' to remain as is, even when I don't really want to. I keep seeing the good parts and forget the parts that weren't so good, in an attempt perhaps to justify remaining 'as is'.
Well.. what I have realized, is that when change is due, it is best to go along with it!
