Look at it this way Nik. Imagine you are walking up a creek valley, which twists and turns. At some points along the way you meet charismatic people who try to attract your attention with their words or looks. You realise that the main issue is to keep moving up the creek.
You don't know why exactly, but you feel it in your blood, that there is something at the head water of this creek which is calling you. You can't see what that is, because there are too many twists and turns, hills and trees - your vision is limited to only a little way ahead. But you know which way the water flows.
You don't spend too much time striving to see far up the valley, because you know the main task is to walk upstream.
Finally, after a long time, you reach a high flat rock, which by sheer chance is just so positioned that from it you catch a glimpse through to the head of the valley. What you see there fills you with inspiration to keep walking upstream. And you know as soon as you leave the rock, you will not see that vision again for a very long way.
This is the nature of the path of knowledge. If we strive to understand while still in the curves of the valley road, we only see trees and hills. Doesn't mean we should not try to understand, but it does mean that the primary task is to learn the act of walking upstream - visions of our goal will come of their own accord, so long as we keep climbing.
One day, veils will fall from your eyes for a second, and you will know you are on the right road. Until then, don't angst over impenetrable questions. The double is a mystery best left to itself to tap you on the shoulder. Once it happens, you will realise there is no way you could have guessed.
