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Author Topic: What does it mean to be unavailable?  (Read 5861 times)

Offline CherryArc

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What does it mean to be unavailable?
« on: August 28, 2013, 08:16:08 PM »
In the sense of the word to be a hunter, Like is the casteneda novels?

What does it mean to be unavailable?

Offline Endless~Knot

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2013, 08:23:19 PM »
In the sense of the word to be a hunter, Like is the casteneda novels?

What does it mean to be unavailable?

Unable to be 'pinned down' by others. This is why we erase personal history - to not be pinned down or have others remind us of our history.
“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own.” - Bruce Lee

Offline Endless~Knot

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2013, 08:26:42 PM »
 If it is convenient to him, the hunter hides from the power by covering himself and remaining motionless until the twilight is gone and the power has sealed him into its protection.
     
The protection of the power seals you like in a cocoon. A hunter can stay out in the open and no puma or coyote or slimy bug could bother him. A mountain lion could come up to the hunters nose and sniff him, and if the hunter does not move, the lion would leave. I can guarantee you that.
     
If the hunter, on the other hand, wants to be noticed all he has to do is to stand on a hilltop at the time of the twilight and the power will nag him and seek him all night. Therefore, if a hunter wants to travel at night or if he wants to be kept awake he must make himself available to the wind.
     
Therein lies the secret of great hunters. To be available and unavailable at the precise turn of the road.
     
You must learn to become deliberately available and unavailable. As your life goes now, you are unwittingly available at all times. To be unavailable does not mean to hide or to be secretive but to be inaccessible. It makes no difference to hide if everyone knows that you are hiding.
     
We are fools, all of us, and you cannot be different. At one time in my life I, like you, made myself available over and over again until there was nothing of me left for anything except perhaps crying. And that I did, just like yourself.
     
You must take yourself away. You must retrieve yourself from the middle of the road. Your whole being is there, thus it is of no use to hide; you would only imagine that you are hidden. Being in the middle of the road means that everyone passing by watches your comings and goings.
     
The art of a hunter is to become inaccessible. To be inaccessible means that you touch the world around you sparingly. You don't expose yourself to the power of the wind unless it is mandatory. You don't use and squeeze people until they have shriveled to nothing, especially the people you love.
     
 To be unavailable means that you deliberately avoid exhausting yourself and others. It means that you are not hungry and desperate.
     
A hunter knows he will lure game into his traps over and over again, so he doesn't worry. To worry is to become accessible, unwittingly accessible. And once you worry you cling to anything out of desperation; and once you cling you are bound to get exhausted or to exhaust whoever or whatever you are clinging to.
     
 I've told you already that to be inaccessible does not mean to hide or to be secretive. It doesn't mean that you cannot deal with people either. A hunter uses his world sparingly and with tenderness regardless of whether the world might be things, or plants, or animals, or people, or power. A hunter deals intimately with his world and yet he is inaccessible to that same world. He is inaccessible because he's not squeezing his world out of shape. He taps it lightly, stays for as long as he needs to, and then swiftly moves away leaving hardly a mark.
~DJ
“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own.” - Bruce Lee

Offline Michael

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2013, 11:18:05 PM »
Curiously, I have had it said to me that this word indicates a very egotistical approach. "Who do you think you are that you decide to manipulate your relationships by being available of not?" Or something like that. In essence, the whole concept is uncomfortable with the normal social mind.

I have never been able to add anything more useful to the words of DJ, as quoted above by EK. He really does nail it beautifully.

Offline CherryArc

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2013, 11:23:15 PM »
Hmm, I felt the brunt of your post michael, Can it not in some way work out to the benefit of the recipient, or as a warrior is supposed to be selfish, should he do it because he can? I mean in the former that you would be or end up less appealing if you are so available, Would you not want to keep someone appealed?

Offline CherryArc

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2013, 11:32:36 PM »
Okay after considering what I've read, when it comes to people, I would sum unavailability up with one word. Reluctant. Maybe this is a personal realisation, if so be gentle.

Offline Michael

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2013, 01:22:49 AM »
Just remember that to be unavailable, means to not let people know you are unavailable. You could say it's the opposite of co-dependency. There are many ways to be involved but unavailable, but it all boils down to not needing to tell others you are unavailable.

In the end, there is so much we do which doesn't fit with the normal social conventions - one just has to get used to that.

Offline Skyflower

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2013, 10:14:44 PM »
I think accessibility is hard to define really.  It's more of a conservation of energy than anything else and like Michael says nobody will know you are inaccessible, that's part of the beauty of it. 

It's not that you don't give of yourself and it's not that you don't share or love or connect, but you aren't attached to the outcomes, or the people so you aren't affected by the connections except in the moment.  You can feel it and then move on with detachment. 

I think some people have this idea of a being who is inaccessible as being stone cold and un feeling, but in reality that's not how it looks. 

Offline Michael

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2013, 11:44:57 PM »
I think some people have this idea of a being who is inaccessible as being stone cold and un feeling, but in reality that's not how it looks. 

Exactly my thoughts. It is OK to put up a cold shoulder for whatever reason, but that is noticeable, and thus accessible. Once a warrior moves into inaccessible mode, she can remain fully engaged, but she draws no attention. Drawing no attention is one of the hardest things for us to do, because our whole culture is obsessed on being noticed.

I am reminded of Leo in The Journey to the East.

Offline CherryArc

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Re: What does it mean to be unavailable?
« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2013, 03:15:04 AM »
Very good elaborations guys, Skyflower, I think you really give a good description.