I know of no greater force in this world than the force that is with me. My own personal power, and I say this, not that I am a powerful being, no. I say this in the sense that, each and every individual who exists, has the same thing. We all make the grave error in believing that our personal power (albeit however personal) resides in something outside of us, in the beginning. If we are seeking 'food' from the outside to nourish us with the wisdom to be wise, we look outward, instantly. This is the mistake, and the error because what is within us is the spiritual center. I cannot become powerful by attempting to possess anything in the world except myself, that's all I own. There is no other 'heart' in the world that can be greater for myself than my own heart - I cannot go and seek out another one to replace the one I have, nor do I find that necessary. I was already blessed with and given what was 'mine' from birth; therefore, as any of us should do, we must take what is of us, within us, and utilize that. That is our god-given right. There is nothing standing in the way of us being able to ascend, transcend, evolve, whatever you wish to call it. But its not an upward and outward movement which we do. Its a coming-together of ourselves as whole, complete, beings, who have unlocked all that we have from within, and allowed it to permeate every facet of our entire being.
This is why the true 'masters' that Ive ever known, have always been the individuals who have understood this truth, and did nothing more than do everything they could to become themselves, as honestly and as authentically as they could. Yet Ive never known any of them to have led easy lives. However, they've recognized, they've been blessed, in all sorts of ways. Bruce Lee said, that becoming 'real' is the most difficult thing an individual will ever do. Thats if they can accomplish this. How far are we willing to go to become real and authentic, as honestly as we can be? And then, why is it such a difficult task?
Life reacts to us and we react back. I view life as a sentient being in itself, fully alive and aware. Many dont do it in the same capacity that I do. They may view a sentient being outside of existence who is guiding certain processes, I view actually, everything I see, and even not see, as alive and aware. Not one subatomic particle isnt connected to this phenomena. Its not possible for it to be so. And so as I lie in fascination with the universe, I react to life and it reacts back. How it can be aware of all things at once, at all times. Yet this process is masked from us because we can barely keep up with the entire flow of the whole of it.
And of that power that resides in myself, there is that core center, that hasn't changed an iota over time, that part of myself that is floating through each milisecond of my life, which has the ability to drift and travel back, or forward if I wish, but remains unmoved by all of the turbulence and troubles, or even beauty and the richness that it experiences, and sees. Transference of flame from candlestick to candlestick, Ive died many times and been birthed again, course, Im speaking more in the terms of the existence of my 'self' in this life. We're like the snake who sheds its skin over and over. One snake, yet many skins. A snake doesn't 'think' about when its time to shed a skin and become anew again. We, however, do. We do it because we attach ourselves to our 'old skins' and fear the raw new skin being exposed to the atmosphere and sunlight. Its too fresh and raw, however, we struggle to keep the rotting flesh on us, and its dead. And as life presses, I can walk just about any square inch of anywhere in this world, and I will see folks holding tight to those skins and identifying with them, denying that inner light which continues its transference, and if allowed to do so, would help to set them free from old attachments and ways. So corpses walk and life cannot move on for them, and they have yet to understand what life is truly about.
Artistry and creativity only fascinates me when its an honest expression. Its always what holds me captivated, because I can feel its universality from within it. I feel it when I observe the Mona Lisa. An artists pours his soul out onto the canvas, and exposes it, and no wonder the world deems it priceless. I feel the same way about poetry, maybe more written by mystics than not, than empty verses that I may hear on songs on the radio. I can listen to something in a different language that I do not understand, word-wise, but if I can feel out the emotions pouring out into the sounds, the pitch, the tempo, then it speaks to me so it doesnt matter what words were written regardless. And so, my main commitment in my life, which I know is important for myself, is only bringing forth, that core, that part of me which has traveled with me since birth, and perhaps beyond. There is no other part of myself which is 'real,' than that. The rest of myself, is shed skins of other lives, like shedding clothes here and there, after they've been worn and are useless to me. I dont clutch onto them or identify with them, but I may look back to simply see where Ive come from, at the most. But I dont allow the past to define myself, parents or childhood experiences. They honestly dont define. They influence, Ive learned, but defining myself, they dont do. I have to be the master of my own destiny; thats part of my own personal power and my ability to become, not what I 'think' I should be, but what I must, to aim where I need to aim. And time is an illusion in the sense that, per this life I have, now, it could end, tonight in my sleep, or thirty or more years from now. There is no definite amount of time, I can be certain of. So I dont even attach myself to that. I can only attach myself to this momentary awareness that I do have, and as quickly as I pass these keystrokes, it will fall into the past, like any other breath I take, anything I think, anything I do, just like any other day.
So Ive been my own worst,difficult project. I had my own passion, and even obsession with the mystery of it all, yet then I see all of this discovery aiming toward the center of myself, more and more with each task I do. Each dream only leads me there. A star blinks and its spirit winking back at me, reminding me, im on the right track.
So becoming real is the most important thing to myself, as far as a commitment to myself. There is no other 'me' to be, but that. There is no other road, or way, but leading to that. And whatever challenges Ive encountered, whether Ive went with the simple or phenomenal, magical or meditational, I do whatever Im called to do, to do it. Learn whatever skills I must to accomplish it. Then, strangely enough, ill just sit back in quietude and not think about any of it at all. Just be.... and leave it at that. Until the next 'jolt' takes me on another strange journey, reminding me that the more ordinary I become in those moments, the more extraordinary life becomes for me. And because of it, I can go anywhere I wish to, and there are no limitations in my pursuit of this. There is nothing to stop me but myself if I deny what power is within me, that is the fuel to get me where I need to go.
And that, is my personal reality at least. At least, in a very surreal world.
