Hey guys I have a question I'd like to ask y'all. Speaking of egos; how attached do you think our egos are to the idea that we are parents? How many of us here are a Mom or a Dad and recognize ourself as this first and foremost. When we talk about who we are we say "I am a mother of two" or "I am a single Mom." etc. So I was wondering, when we identify ourselves by our kids and our role in our family, what happens to our ego when this changes? When our kids leave home or leave the country as in Daphne's case, how does our ego respond? Does it lash out, hold on? What do you think happens?
Mine havent left home yet so I cant say exactly how I would react. I know as a parent, I want my kids to grow up wise, be self-sufficient, be able to live happy lives, be able to take care of themselves, prepare them for the world 'out there' as they'll get thrown into the adult world. The world will change for them in perception, as its been doing all along, as they grow. In reality, the world doesnt totally change. People do. We grow so we see things from different perspectives.
Course they're a part of myself, thats part of being connected, and we're supposed to have connections as parents, and I always will with them. But as they grow, the relationship changes. Being their mother will never change, but eventually the nature of being the mother will. When they're out on their own, independent, it will be different. I may always give guidance, but they wont have to follow all my rules if they dont live with me. They'll be able to make their own rules in their own house. My identity, tho, in being connected with, even with that, there is still my 'self' and sometimes I do think about how later, house will be different, quiet, probably easier to manage, lol. But thatll probably just present for myself, a different phase in my life, to go in a different direction. Maybe ill choose to run away with the circus when they eventually get on their own, being able to care for themselves. lol.
I think how my ego 'responds' to their growing up, I dont fear them growing up. I did used to do that when I thought about how, oneday, the 'babies' I knew, real small little ones (and they're so cute at that age), will be no more, have adults standing in their place. It is kinda sad cause we only have memories left of them, like that. Old photos and memories, school pictures they drew, artwork, things they made for us, painted for us. Little 'I love you" cards. Now I get little "Love you mom" notes on myspace, from my sons account, LOL. Sure, love to get him a box of crayons again, or her some paint, but I know cant keep them little forever. Kinda stinks at times we cant go back for real, play around with them for awhile like that.
