Topic: Domestic Violence

[Michael]

I have always felt very distant from the world of domestic violence. I have no history of it in my life: my parents never engaged in anything like it, and I have never engaged in any form of violence towards others, domestic or otherwise, except on the Rugby field, and one drunken party night in my teens when I challenged some one to a fight, which ended idiotically as neither of us knew how to fight. And yet that is not for lack of love of violence - indeed I have a deep attraction to violence, just never could see the point of it directed towards other people.

I do admit, I lost my temper at times. I think I can recall at least two occasions - I'm sure there should be one or two other times which the years have caused me to forget.

So I am not a good person to lecture on domestic violence, as I have simply never grasped it - why on earth would a person want to bash up someone over whom they have some kind of power, especially physical power? I have never understood the motivation, and so have found it easy to say: that happens to other people, god know why, but for sure it is evil. Only evil people would do it.

But something happened to me in dreaming last night, which has caused me take a serious reflection on the nature of violence to those close to us. I realised that we are all capable of inter-personal violence. It is written into our blueprint, and no one is exempt.

There is a line, passed which thankfully, only some pass. But that line exists for every one of us, inside our consciousness. We are all, with absolutely NO exception, capable of crossing that line. Furthermore, we not only do not understand why or how this can happen, but we are not in control of when it could happen. Many people will live their whole lives without crossing this line, but that does not mean it doesn't exist, in all of us.

At some point, we pass a line in which we act abusively to another person, especially one we have loved, where we cut the beam of empathy. We don't care how they feel, no matter how innocent or shattering their feelings, and we act with intent to kill. A numbness of the consequences sweeps us up and allows us to deliver the final blow. We act decisively in a state of total disregard for the other person's body or soul. We become a murderer of love. How can this happen?

It is my view now, that this line exists inside of every living being. It can be crossed at any time given sufficient pressure or factor which we can never predict. It applies as much to Jesus as to Hitler.

We may think we are above the gross world of violence. We are in control of our lives and our consciousness, because we are able to maintain equilibrium through most worldly challenges. We have worked upon ourselves endlessly for years, and are capable of transiting out of darkness into light. We are wise and advanced, like the sages of old. Yet even the sages of old knew about the fragile wafer-thin veneer of command we foolishly ascribe to ourselves.

In truth, we sit within a tiny dingy, torn fabrics for sails, at the mercy of a vast ocean which in a flash can consume our spirit, all the while imagining ourselves to be aboard a mighty ship capable of cutting through blocked ice. Let us think big! It's good for the soul. But don't ever be mistaken as to the reality - we can cross the line of darkness at any moment, and we never know when or why.

[runningstream]

There are lots of ways that could have happened , dreaming somebody else's episodes for example ,
Yesterday I was talking to a woman who's neighbor was murdered I believe in last week or two domestic violence , then they resuscitated him after he took himself too , kids involved in custody , relationship split same old recipe , plus people are feeling more stressed , I try the going gets tough adage , the tough get going , so channel that fire into movement towards what resilience is needed to do what's needed and right .
For me I at one time even considered hunting bad people , spirit found me what I needed in the form of a woman the next day with all the information , I decided I didn't need that mark on my soul . I used to try keep everybody safe , my responsibility a big job.
I don't know why anybody would want to be with somebody they hated that much that brought out that in each other .
Personally I always thought there was enough ass holes could be got , and never understood why good people seem to be targeted.
Hold fast to what you have these are trying times .

[Michael]

There are lots of ways that could have happened , dreaming somebody else's episodes for example ,
Yesterday I was talking to a woman who's neighbor was murdered I believe in last week or two domestic violence , then they resuscitated him after he took himself too , kids involved in custody , relationship split same old recipe , plus people are feeling more stressed , I try the going gets tough adage , the tough get going , so channel that fire into movement towards what resilience is needed to do what's needed and right .
For me I at one time even considered hunting bad people , spirit found me what I needed in the form of a woman the next day with all the information , I decided I didn't need that mark on my soul . I used to try keep everybody safe , my responsibility a big job.
I don't know why anybody would want to be with somebody they hated that much that brought out that in each other .
Personally I always thought there was enough ass holes could be got , and never understood why good people seem to be targeted.
Hold fast to what you have these are trying times .

Simon, are you saying you have never been abusive to a woman you were having a relationship with?

[runningstream]

My ex wife punched me in the stomach when we  were laying in bed once and I hit her back In the leg once with the side of my hand. That's all ever .
Probably 15 years ago.
I don't feel that qualifies as abuse really , so I'd have to say no.
I argued with some women , I never become possessive or jealous of them , i always tell if they want to mess around then go ahead and leave , I have no interest in going out with a woman I don't get along with or that aren't trustworthy , I have high standards so I'm single by choice , and I hardly ever mess around myself whilst single , I do get often hit on yet the attraction I'm seeking is beyond that superficial stuff , its about being true to myself , and others .
I won't bullshit them.

[runningstream]

I will add I have met and been with women more than once who won't trust because of being in abusive relationships , or that have trouble seeing whts really there so shut down and sabotage the relationships chance of growth , its very very sad .
So many times , and also other types of abuse , that's why as I said previously I was going to sort people out , spirit seems to have kept me from that path deliberately though I am glad , I cannot save everybody all the time I learned this after many years .
Also , people project dark expectations onto others ,
Where or when the first stone was thrown ever is anyone's guess so it originates and is passed on to the next , perhaps it would be the same if I crossed the line myself .

[Michael]

Perhaps we have a misunderstanding of the word 'abuse'.
I see abuse of being much more than physical violence.

I will add I have met and been with women more than once who won't trust ...
I cannot save everybody all the time I learned this after many years ...
Also , people project dark expectations onto others...

I have a little trouble with some of these thoughts.

Are you saying you never get angry with a woman in a relationship, that you are never controlling of their thoughts or desires?

Or are you saying that because you know best, your actions, be they of anger or control, are actually for the growth of the other person, and ultimately you are always trying to 'save' or bring out the best in them? Even if they perceive this as a relationship of unequal domination?

You see, there are some people who believe themselves to be advanced, and act in ways that are actually abusive to others, but they justify that behaviour because they believe themselves to be above ordinary people. This is a very common psychological illness of people on a spiritual path - they fail to realise their attitudes to others are simply egotistically aggressive, because they have not done the base work of deflating self-importance.

The problem with such people, is that there is no way for the other person in the relationship to get through they are simply being an arsehole, because the belief in their own superiority is so powerful, it denies them any ability to question themselves or empathise. No matter what the other person says, there is no way through their very clever armour.

This is also a form of abuse, where the abuser eventually walks away believing in their own superiority - there can never be a genuine meeting with such people.

[runningstream]

The problem with problems is they see more problems , and so frame them as such , where I see solutions ,
Secondly the problem with bringing the past into the present as though it still exists , as a tool with which to clarify present movement is that it also has shifted and then has not also through its being , lastly in explaining and opening up such things , especially to a viewpoint coming from certain directions , such as spirituality ' conceptual' and psychological ' directional' and intellectual. How many messed up mislead psychologists psychoanalysts etc , ever did the work ?
I have done the work , I am not in a relationship , I am on my true path , I have aligned my base , I am functional , if I choose to not be with somebody who is neither aligned with their truth , aligned with true spirituality ' their being' and not clarified on their way , what does that mean ? Surely not that I'm not myself ,
Some things are predictable , if you think somehow not alignng with your base , makes you spiritual your self then go ahead , yesterday I told an argumentative woman she was a nit wit and a stupid cow for parking her car in an emergency access gateway where was the only access point for ambulances fire brigades not to mention workers accessing stage , where 250 children were performing aged fin around five years in supposing upwards , if you think my concerns are non spiritual and malaligned with my base let me know . lol, I thought my base stood upright and did just fine.
I have met so many psychologist nutbags it renders it completely retarded in my eyes.
Spirit is a call to action , right action , through the base all the way into the sky.
I do no longer sit around arguing with argumentive women , ' control' nor or my half of the equation as it were , nor do I not follow spirit any more .
You have a knack for framing things in a direction
Needing undoing , then requesting an agreement .
If you know spirit and say otherwise , then we have differing paths and views ,naturally.

[runningstream]

Google yazidi women , images , you will see tortured , beaten raped woman , tell me how spiritual does it make you feel and would you sit on your ass ?
Although it does not enter most peoples immediate spheres in the west , so they find it easy to feel unconcerned citing spirituality and television keeps it
Out of reach of them .
I know the way out of the mess , and work within it.
And you can also bet , this base extends way beyond the individual in setting those pillars straight.
There is no overstatement here .
If all the spiritual people could please get out of the way now so the real people can sort this shit out that will be great.
Now I have a question for you Michael ,
What is the best course of action should firstly be taken towards the rape murder and general ignorance of those who have spiralled dangerously  and uncontrollably into these shadows .
If they no longer choose to be aligned spiritual beings including their base .
You won't budge me an inch.

[Michael]

I rest my case.

[runningstream]

Didn't seem you ever got off it ,
I was handed a sword for a reason .

[runningstream]

If you make fart noises I'll call you an asshole no matter how spiritually you hide them .
I will search your hearts . my heart was pure enough to drink the entire suffering of the earth and now you think you judge me

[runningstream]

I'm going to do you the courtesy , because I know you are indoctrined to your own ways , and it's not personal , because your stubborness causes blindness where you see what you'd expect , and have trouble imagining what you haven't.
Also that you block out what you don't like in the way of teaching , and have not met many people who tell the truth , so feel they need defend themselves within those boundaries.I also know your not stupid and so also see your ability to evenness at what you do present at most times and respect that in you.

Relationships are like this , imagine you have lessons ,
In some cases those people present as memories living call it reincarnation concurrent timelines whatever you like ,
To stay in a relationship with an old lover based on fears insecurities etc , you may say takes something , grit , staying power or working through lessons patience etc etc

Then when that ends , one day , spirit as you are following truth presents you with another option ,
This option moves forward with truth ,
And truth is your heart , at a certain point in the relationship growth is stunted , one party or both are once again stumbled upon clinging , and arguing for all the wrong reasons ,
Then break up , perhaps now you realize you are ancient , and that again you are now presented with an old choice or alignment , what fruit is there in this ?
For either party,
Now painfully peeling away from a relationship again wondering why spirit set this up so immensely ,
Again you connect to truth your heart , and again you are brought into another spiritual union  as before each more mind blowing and familiar than before , closer to home as it were , your heart .

Only to agqin realise the timeline is wrong , perhapa this is only a story to you , as perhaps you have endured hardship as a means to grow as you say ,
What you feel is spiritual .

Spirit , being truth also follows this path of truth , where growth ends , and realisation begins upon again taking up truth , the path beyond clinging .

Now imagine, the past timelines becoming further embedded , upon presentation again , resolve is not met between two parties ,

Now imagine continuing instead of becoming stuck at fear , now alignment finds new , is it wrong to not be bound to these past ? And not relive traumas which cannot be repaired , and only sink further .

Next that a true current alignment exists , truthfully and heartfully waiting the faithful , in the betterment of
The personal circumstances , which also help others and the world through balance .

As this shells growth extends connects , and gains a foothold as a new oscilating state of being .

Also that the motion of movement outward from old paradigms of time placement and being is actually a Reverse away which is a return to what was initially lost back in times beginning for spirit.

As its travelled upon, within our time now again finding what now needs to be reset in correct alignment .

You seem to have your heart set on hard work , it's not
The only way however , nor the only true path being travelled .

Some are realigning back to a truer form in the beginning here , it is not imaginary those steps are as real as spirit can be , those presentations unquestionable in their reality and connction.

I know it seems psychological goggles fit on the landscape , yet they are really pretty useless except in convincing your self what you want to see.

Time is moving the other way , spirit won't dance the same under those circumstances .

[Skyflower]

This isn't my conversation, but I do feel I can weigh in.

Yes, there are many ways to be violent against another human, even thoughts can be abusive, controlling, but there is another layer to this that, as I see.

As a person who has been at the receiving end of many types of violence and abuse for a good part of my life, I can say that perhaps it was my karma, perhaps I had lessons to learn and old stories had to unfold.  there were many actors that played parts in my growth and spiritual awakening, most of them were horrible to me, most hurt.  But from all of them I learned many amazing lessons and grew emotionally and spiritually. 

I can say now, from a distance, and viewing from another layer that no, violence is never the answer, and there are certainly many other ways, but also -- there is so much more at play here, some that can barely be fathomed and scarcely talked about. (past lives, karmic ties, soul lessons, ascension facilitators -- the list goes on)

When I, personally came to the realization that I do not deserve to be hurt (It took a long time to sink in)   -- THEN  my entire worlds shifted and not only did I see with new eyes, but people (almost all people) responded to me differently.  They responded to me how I expected, which is probably how they responded to me before, except then, I expected something much more base and of a  lower vibration.

 So a lot of it has to do with our expectations, our previous situations, and our own personal boundaries, but also for some of us, we see what we want and expect to see.  We make choices with the tools we are given  and put ourselves in each situation.  Our Souls and e Universe know what we need in each moment.  For growth.

It's a lucky day when we can move ourselves up out of the expectation that we need to suffer to grow and finally learn to see and treat ourselves as valuable and magical beings.  Nobody can control or abuse you, once you realize you are free.

Runningstream, maybe you can't save everybody, but maybe you don't have to. 

"Time is moving the other way , spirit won't dance the same under those circumstances ."

Amen!

[Skyflower]

Also , people project dark expectations onto others ,

I can agree that this is true.  While I was still wounded and scared, I've allowed my fear to project darkness onto people, places and things that would never ever want to hurt me.  But I couldn't see that until I healed the broken pieces of my heart and soul.

I've seen first hand many times (loudly) how fear can make something as innocent as birds singing sound like something sinister.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

This really is a complex subject.

[runningstream]

We have skipped the light fandango here across many layers and genres. I'll go the disance back to the source to sort it out , I promise you that.