Topic: Witnessing decrease

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

There are many ways to witness decrease. One can look at others and see some strange shadows trailing them and indicating approaching death. One can witness relatives becoming more and more fragile, introvert, weak and rigid. One can see people around becoming ill and fading away.

Yet it all seems to be about 'them'. It gives rise to a sharp sense of loss, but one's own condition seems to be so firm and clear. Nothing can be farther from truth.

I'm witnessing old age and decrease hitting me with irresistible power. I cannot play games I like to play as I used to. Physical contact I never avoided does not seem to be so attractive any more . Injuries heal much slower. After the game I'm sometimes so tired that it hurts bad. When I get a flu, it takes longer to get well (though I must say that I get flu much more rarely than when I was young).

Life is just slipping away. I can submerge my hands into river, but I cannot stop it or hold it.

Yesterday we went to see a sunset. Very beautiful it was! Some quite rare birds sang, there was quiet, Sun was there - talking to us and Universe.

Another day passed into eternity.
Those moments will never occur again.

[ellenmoksha]

There are many ways to witness decrease. One can look at others and see some strange shadows trailing them and indicating approaching death. One can witness relatives becoming more and more fragile, introvert, weak and rigid. One can see people around becoming ill and fading away.

Yet it all seems to be about 'them'. It gives rise to a sharp sense of loss, but one's own condition seems to be so firm and clear. Nothing can be farther from truth.

Actually what you said, is farther from the truth. I will tell you, why.

I got off the phone with my sis tonight. BIL went into surgery today for surgery number three. He was not even finished from being out of the anasthesia, when the surgeons told her, he will most likely need a fourth one. The reality of his condition, which is this here,, is that he may never walk again without a walker, or wheelchair, thanks to the accident, and the fracture he took, which the surgeons said, they only see one of those types of fractues a year. One a year. That fracture, thanks to screws coming loose which needed to be redone, combined with the fact the bone isn't fusing properly, may require another surgery, which she is pressing for them doing 'now.' Which this surgery would require cutting them from his front. He's already having major issues with depression, has PTSD from being a police officer, already on oxygen 24/7, has only 25 % lung capacity. Now, per what you said, while we may all lead to the same 'end,' the reality is, his condition, which of course all combined is life threatening to him, is nothing in comparison to my own physical condiition. You, for example, can walk. So you can't do a cartwheel or flip around like you used to. Big deal. That is nothing in comparison to having to use a walker, or be on an oxygen tank, or have to take bunch of pills per your own home pharmacy, or have physical therapists in and out of your house several times a week. You are fine, so if you are looking at others, and thinking you're somehow, in the same boat with them, you're wrong.

Another day, slipping away. I suppose so. I suppose you could also 'pretend' you're a dying individual and focus on that. In reality, good odds you'll live to see another day, and you have your health. Your situation, is farther from the truth, for instance of his own, or others who are in such a state like that. You're not decreasing, like that.

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

Your relative will face his end his way, I will face my end my way.

[ellenmoksha]

But truth is, you see anyone 'really' actually in the 'process' of dealing with the reality of dying, they are in a different stage than you are. You cannot relate to that. Only empathize. But not relate. So what you said is further from the truth, on being further from the truth. You're fine, you'll probably be fine tomorrow, and so will I. You dont have the same grievances at all. You just want to look at the glass as half empty, but you're not actually a more than, half empty glass.

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

We all will die, we are approaching our death, we are dying every day. I posted about realising that time is running out - regardless of what we do or hope or think. It just is running out and will run out. I feel it happening, I'm aging. Some I've studied together in school are dead already. I've seen younger people than me dying in agony. The threshold is so tiny...it is right there...

[ellenmoksha]

We all will die, we are approaching our death, we are dying every day. I posted about realising that time is running out - regardless of what we do or hope or think. It just is running out and will run out. I feel it happening, I'm aging. Some I've studied together in school are dead already. I've seen younger people than me dying in agony. The threshold is so tiny...it is right there...

You can choose to see yourself as dying. Per the same attitude, you began dying the moment you were born. You popped out and began dying. Technically, the principle applies.

You can be an old, dying fart. I shall not. You have no good reason to whine.

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

you began dying the moment you were born

Precisely, that's what I'm talking about.
Our stay in this world is so limited!

[ellenmoksha]

Precisely, that's what I'm talking about.
Our stay in this world is so limited!

Yeah its limited, but its also self-important, to look at others who are authentically suffering with the disease of death, dont have their health, and so forth, and think you're like them, cause you're not. Not yet. Until you get some form of death sentence, or you're severely physically limited, you're just fine.

I dont focus on myself 'dying,' or identify with others, esp. who have it worse than I do, like physical pain. I cannot in the same capacity as they, I can only empathize but not go beyond that. Going beyond that is not reality and is a self-importance deal. Its a simple way to measure, would you trade bodies permanently with someone who has full blown AIDS, or lung cancer, for example? No you wouldnt, cause there is a difference physically, with you, and they. They have the death 'sentence' and you do not. You will end up dead, like they will, one day, flip the switch to off, and its over. But you presently are not in that stage at all.

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

You just want everyone to think you're dying

I don't really care what 'everyone' think. It is their business, really. We die individually and so it has always been.

[ellenmoksha]

I don't really care what 'everyone' think. It is their business, really. We die individually and so it has always been.

Actually, we all die alone. We may have someone holding our hand, if fortunate, but we will die alone. But to myself, focusing on death, and like I said (which you're avoiding what I said), you're not in a position to truly identify with someone who is really suffering, has the 'death sentence.' That's their sacred sentence. And really, I'm in no rush to get my own. Why you're focusing on what you cannot do, is really silly, actually. So I wear glasses sometimes, you probably do too. Big damn deal. I can still do a backbend though, though there are other things I cannot do, like when younger. But I can still do many other things, that others can not. Walking, for example, even that, can be taken for granted. You can walk? Then you're fine. Do you have prostate cancer? Lung cancer? Do I have ovarian cancer? Breast cancer? You dont, I dont. So you cannot identify with someone, who is suffering like that, not now. When you get your death sentence, you can.

Buddha, saw all this in the world, he empathized, and went out, not to, dwell on death, look at himself and say "oh i'm dying," he went out, to find a way out of what he saw, and found it. Because even with that, the reality of life, there was another way, had to be, to live, other than, that. He had compassion for others, he didn't look at himself, and feel he was like them, at the time. He was young and healthy, but felt fear, for himself, later on, it would be taken away.  He wanted to find something, that could help them, and give him the answers he needed, and himself. So he got to work.

To myself, I'm a being that is going to die. Death, really doesn't scare me, the 'end' of it all. I think what would lead up to that, moreso than the 'end.' Because to someone suffering it can give them peace. However, it may cut them off, too soon though. Or at least, for the living, it can be. Because they suffer too.

Also, trying to identify with others, who are really suffering, have a death sentence, who are physically suffering, is an illusion in itself. Not real, cause you cannot. But additionally, doing that, can also cause worry and fear unnecessarily. Worry and fear just enough to take care of yourself. Not worry so much you cannot enjoy life at all. Apparently, per this, my glass is half full, yours is half empty. There is nothing wrong with you, and you have nothing to complain about. Its not your time, to complain, just yet. You're not even a consideration, for purchasing your plot or setting up your own cremation.

[Jaharkta]

It's wise to get a grasp on the fact that one is not physically immortal. I can tell you, it can come as great shock when certain abilities become impaired, and even if one doesn't "whine" about it, one still must reckon with it.

It's too easy, I've learned, to make snap judgments as to where others are in this physical journey. Once upon a time, I judged my distant cousins as symptomatic, dysfunctional, hysterical, and "psychosomatic" with all their physical complaints. I wondered how they could deprive themselves of so much living. I was obsessed with my own thinness at the time, and no doubt saw myself as "superior".

Come'uppens are a very hard road. At least that's been my experience. Every time in the past 30 years I've judged another for being "weak" or "lesser", in whatever area you can think of, Spirit has shown me "how" this one can complain of this or of that.

We all have our own lessons to walk. Let no one tear it asunder, eh?

[ellenmoksha]

It's wise to get a grasp on the fact that one is not physically immortal. I can tell you, it can come as great shock when certain abilities become impaired, and even if one doesn't "whine" about it, one still must reckon with it.

It's too easy, I've learned, to make snap judgments as to where others are in this physical journey. Once upon a time, I judged my distant cousins as symptomatic, dysfunctional, hysterical, and "psychosomatic" with all their physical complaints. I wondered how they could deprive themselves of so much living. I was obsessed with my own thinness at the time, and no doubt saw myself as "superior".

Come'uppens are a very hard road. At least that's been my experience. Every time in the past 30 years I've judged another for being "weak" or "lesser", in whatever area you can think of, Spirit has shown me "how" this one can complain of this or of that.

We all have our own lessons to walk. Let no one tear it asunder, eh?

V, I do grasp I'm not immortal, at least, my physical 'me' is not. But I also know, that regardless to whether I'm aging, which I am, or if I get hit with the death sentence later down the road, I'd be out of line to complain about death, or impose on anyone's own sacred death sentence, saying itd be 'further from the truth' that I am in a different position than they. In reality, I am. My BIL, got out of surgery, yesterday night technically per my time. Still under anestesia (cant spell right now), and then they're telling sis, may need a fourth back surgery. PTSD, Major depression, he has to see a psychologist very badly, and one is set up, but cannot see one while in the hospital. But he has one set up, because if he does find out, he will never walk without walker or wheelchair, he will be destraut, He has been working with physical therapists and docs nonstop, in hopes he can walk without the walker. Then this all goes down. And with his degenerative disease of skeleton, needing oxygen, poor man cant seem to get a break. So yes, seeing Erik write this, and try to 'compare' himself to others, who are in bad shape, with the death sentence, or suffering like that, bad time to see him whine. I dont want to hear it, from him. And maybe its no coincidence, he needs to hear, he has nothing to complain about.

There are people who are seventy years old, in great shape, and better than some 30 year olds Ive known who were stupid and did meth. Stuff like that. Im sure you've seen meth addicts, since they go crazy, they age rapidly. A thirty year old can look 85, maybe 75 on a good day.

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

Ellen, the truth is that very few of us have any idea about real time of death and disasters that coming are our way. Aging is one aspect of dying - it only shows how inevitable it is and teaches one about what in this world could have more permanent value.

The other aspect of dying, however, are accidents that hit us all with a power of an earth quake. I don't think I have to draw your attention to that aspect of dying. That aspect can strike us any moment. You know that perfectly well. None of us can be too sure about seeing tomorrow.

What comes to the time of writing my first post, it had nothing to do with you nor with anything else external. I felt like that, so wrote it. Not particularly for you, not because of you. The time did not suit you - pity, but that is how life treats us. We never get asked.

[ellenmoksha]

Ellen, the truth is that very few of us have any idea about real time of death and disasters that coming are our way. Aging is one aspect of dying - it only shows how inevitable it is and teaches one about what in this world could have more permanent value.

Aging is aging, dying is dying.

The other aspect of dying, however, are accidents that hit us all with a power of an earth quake. I don't think I have to draw your attention to that aspect of dying. That aspect can strike us any moment. You know that perfectly well. None of us can be too sure about seeing tomorrow.

And I dont see anything wrong with appreciating another day. That is not the point, Erik. The point is, saying it is far from the truth you are no different than someone who has received their death sentence. Or is physically suffering for real.

What comes to the time of writing my first post, it had nothing to do with you nor with anything else external. I felt like that, so wrote it. Not particularly for you, not because of you. The time did not suit you - pity, but that is how life treats us. We never get asked.

How old are you Erik?

[goggle-eyed dandelion]

My age makes no difference.