Soma
Tools of the Path => The Journey, the Adventure [Public] => Topic started by: Taimi on July 28, 2007, 12:29:46 AM
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As i already said, packing took me very little time. The last night i spent at my friends place from where the journey was about to begin. We had some visitors and we slept only about two hours. This was also deliberate because in the bus we would have plenty of time for sleeping. 07.07 am there was a little champagne for those who gathered so early. The busses left at 9.00. Most people seemed excited though i felt completely normal. Only at some point after waking up i realized - my god I'm going to spend three days in a bus.
The three days lasting bus trip to Caucasus was quite uneventful. Soon after crossing the border the landscape changed. The beautiful forests and beautiful cozy willages were replaced with underwood. Landscape was empty and dull. Every now and then some little poor villages. The road was narrow and bumpy. There was nothing inviting in the energy of this landscape.
Because of the events that took place here in March, everyone was prepared for problems with Russians. In previous years the others said there had been very many problems with Russian police. They stopped the busses very often and made up all kinds of reasons to get money from the travelers. Non-existing penalties and so on. We thought this time it would be even worse. But this time we crossed the border fast and during the trip we were stopped only few times and these were also just for checking documents. We made jokes about how the Russian police doesn't respect us anymore. Due to this we arrived early, the sun hadn't set yet, so we could see the valleys we drove through. It was beautiful. Some others said that in the previous years they had mostly arrived in the dark. Also the weather during the bus trip was perfect. It was cloudy and not too hot which was also luck. I thought i would start to write down the events and feelings i had, even had a notebook for that, but i only wrote few lines in the bus and that was all. I was a little worried about feeling so normal and hoped it would change. There was very little excitement.
Mostly we lived in the valley which was about 2000 meters above sea level. Already there i started to have the old breathing problem occasionally. The next day after arrival we made a walk to the nearby hill. This was to start the acclimation. I don't know how high it was, maybe about 3000 m. It was a few hours walk along a road. Most people went fast, i was in the end taking it easy. I enjoy more walking alone than with a group. Occasionally the ascent was quite steep and the hight made me wheeze even though i went very slowly. I suppose my lungs or heart are not in perfect shape. Also the ascent was hard for the knees and the descent was even worse. But this was just the beginning. I really started to feel reluctance against ascent and descent during this journey. The views were great though. But now that i look at the pictures, they seem so pale.
We could also see Elbrus from the top of this hill.
Also we saw the mountain called Cheget that we were about to climb the next day.
There was a beautiful waterfall along the road that was called The Virgins Hair or something like that.
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AI really started to feel reluctance against ascent and descent during this journey.
You mean you don't like climbing at high altitudes any more?
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You mean you don't like climbing at high altitudes any more?
I think it has already passed :) For now.
Thought at first it was a little depressing just to walk uphill for hours and hours. I suppose for those who have done much training, it wasn't a problem at all. For some it seemed very easy. So my conclusion is that if i start to train more, it will be much easier next time :)
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I think it has already passed :) For now.
Thought at first it was a little depressing just to walk uphill for hours and hours. I suppose for those who have done much training, it wasn't a problem at all. For some it seemed very easy. So my conclusion is that if i start to train more, it will be much easier next time :)
Women! :D :D :D They constantly change their mind! :D :D :D
Yeah, these anaerobic training sessions...
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:) Im pleased you are sharing your adventure here with us R, I hope your senses found the excitment you were seeking.
Pushing our physical limits is always a worthy challenge in hindsight... yet at the time.. its easy to find yourself saying.. what the hell am I doing here?
The pictures youve provided thus far ( I do hope there are more :) ) are stunning!
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Pushing our physical limits is always a worthy challenge in hindsight... yet at the time.. its easy to find yourself saying.. what the hell am I doing here?
Yes, at some moments i though why the hell am i doing this, but then again i noticed i'm also good in forgetting the hardness of physical efforts.
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Interesting, how green area ends so suddenly at one point!
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The ascent to the Cheget started with a cable railway. Then a little walk along the car road which also made me wheeze, but i stayed at the speed which was perfect for me, so i didn’t get tired. We arrived to some plateau where the road ended. Everything seemed under control, i felt good, we made a break. But then the real climbing started. We had to ascend from a really steep hillside with unfixed rocks and after that the rockclimbing started mostly along the mountain crest. This was even a little dangerous, the rocks were unfixed, the hillside was steep and you wouldn’t have wanted to slip there. On the pictures though this steepness is not so visible. This i think was the most interesting part of this journey. Because of the danger i felt excitement. We climbed slowly and thanks to that i didn’t get too tired. We didn’t reach the highest top of this mountain because it would have been too dangerous and we didn’t have time either. The top that we reached was about 3500 meters above sea level. Also from this top Elbrus was visible. Then the descent started. First there was a rocky hillside with large snow areas which was also steep. Snow was fun though it was also dangerous. It was slippery and i mostly skied down on my legs, the speed got quite high occasionally. But in the end of the snow there were sharp rocks. We had to stop the speed before rocks. Some went on their buts but i didn’t want to wet my pants. That was a good idea because some people hit the rocks under the snow with their buts. After that the real hell started. The endless descent from a steep grass slope. At the end my legs were really shaking and i was totally tired. But down there there was a cold refreshing creek. I thought now it’s over and we can walk back to our camp to have a sauna. Yes, we did walk around the mountain for a while on a horizontal road, but i didn’t realize we also have to descend from the hillside which we had ascended with a cable railway in the morning... There was a car road which went down, but it seemed to make such big rounds so me and few other girls decided to go almost straightly down from a little walking road. This was again totally steep mostly and my knees were totally through in the end. But down at the end of the road there was a little bar awaiting with a cold beer. After a beer and a coke i felt almost normal again. Though the next day some muscles of my legs really hurt.
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Few more pictures from Cheget.
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The next day it was a day for rest. This was called active relaxation. We were supposed to have a practice in crossing a mountain river. First person had to cross the river with the help of a stick, keeping the balance in the current. Then he fixed the ropes to a tree so that others could follow holding from the rope. In any other circumstances this would have seemed really exciting to me, but i was very tired of the efforts of two earlier days so i decided to skip this. At the moment i can’t actually believe that i really skipped it. Well, luckily i think it wasn’t too dangerous, the river was only about few meters wide and everyone crossed it safely.
Instead i decided to go back to the the camp alone, to get a rest from all the other people too. I took a few pictures of butterflies on the road.
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Butterflies.
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Thank you Rubina,
some really great and lovely pictures. I especially like the one with the horses and those butterflies, like in a discussion with each other.
(http://restlesssoma.com.au/soma/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=1916.0;attach=1451;image)
(http://restlesssoma.com.au/soma/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=1916.0;attach=1441;image)
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I have noticed something weird that started during this trip. Sometimes when i sleep and wake up suddenly, somehow my body starts trembling or shaking. It's almost like heart beating very strong and fast and my body shakes in this rhythm. But it's not actually my heart beating, it would be too fast and today i checked my pulse during this, it was normal.
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The day after active relaxation we made out first ascent to the slope of Elbrus. First cable railway to the hight of 3800, then a little walk to the hight of 4200. This walk took place already in the snow and was quite easy compared to the previous walks. It was much easier to walk in the snow though it was in a higher altitude and we had big backpacks along. Throughout the whole journey i thought i can’t get too tired because i have to spare some strength for the final ascent. Here we also used the crampons already. The weather was warm, some people even went in shorts. We arrived to the rocks where we put our tents. These were called The Saviour Rocks because the camp of saviors were there. Right after the arrival i felt good, even though fast movements made me dizzy and it was an effort to walk uphill. Only after a few hours the hight started to have an effect. I started to have a headache and sickness. I felt really weary and didn’t want to do anything. Tried to sleep for a while, but it seemed to make things worse. Then i woke up and started to move around and take photos. More experienced people suggested that moving around would make me feel better. Well, it didn’t make me feel better. But at least i didn’t throw up like some others did. By the evening i felt already better and the night passed without a headache. During the whole journey i shared a tent with two fellows. The tent we had up there was smaller than the tent at the basecamp. At some point at night i started to feel claustrophobic between them, wrapped in the sleeping bag and woke up in fear not realizing where i am. In the morning they also said i had talked in sleep. Something about men and bitches. Don’t know where that came from...
In the morning we woke up exactly during the sunrise to make an ascent to the hight of about 4700 meters where there were The Pastuchova Rocks. I went alone again. I was very tired already in the beginning. For the fastest it took about one or two hours. After about four hours almost everyone had passed me. I was just staggering there with very little steps, taking photos, thinking about going back all the time. I reached the beginning of the rocks, but from there on the ascent started to be very steep, so i decided to go back. I felt totally tired, sleepy and unwilling to do anything. I thought how the hell i am supposed to climb to the top if i’m so tired already there. Also i thought people must be totally crazy wanting to climb a mountain. Then we slept in the tents for a while and later came down to the base camp again.
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Few more photos from the slopes of Elbrus.
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Quite a hard time you had there.
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It doesn't seem so bad right now ::)
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After that there was a day off again and then we had two options. First if the weather would be good, we would go back to Elbrus and try to reach the top, because now we already had the acclimation. Second, if the weather would turn bad, we would go to a three days hike. Luckily the weather went bad and we didn’t have to return to Elbrus right away. I just wouldn’t have had much strenght for climbing it in that moment. I really needed to recuperate a little. The hike was about crossing the pass. I only took part of the first day when we were just walking along the valley. Then we spent the night at the Ullu-Tau alpinists camp where they learn alpinism. I decided not to continue because the second day would have been really hard and i thought i needed to rest for the final ascent. So me and some other people returned to the base camp.
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T, all these photos are so beautiful. You had said you wondered at one point why folks want to climb mountains anyway, then in post #14 you have beautiful pictures of the view of the sky and horizon there. And I got to thinking, "that's why!" :) :-*
(Though I suppose everyone has their own reasons.)
These butterflies are so cool -- I agree with Jahn that they look like they're communing with each other. I suppose they're drinking from the mud?
Interesting about the new sleep phenomenon. I wonder if part of you is still on the mountain, with stops and starts, and that is being reflected in the up and down of the sleeping. Like the experience is imprinted upon you ... Just a thought.
:-*
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Interesting about the new sleep phenomenon. I wonder if part of you is still on the mountain, with stops and starts, and that is being reflected in the up and down of the sleeping. Like the experience is imprinted upon you ... Just a thought.
:)
Actually today i had the same thing while awake. Not so strongly though.
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:)
Actually today i had the same thing while awake. Not so strongly though.
Or maybe that excruciating experience silenced your mind to the extent that hidden things are coming up from your subconscious? Like that 'men&bitches' thing?
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I had said something about some man, that he's dull or something like that. And talked about some girl that she's a bitch. Well, it sounded really unconnected and not like me at all. He didn't say more.
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not like me at all.
That's why they call it subconscious...but it is us. Supressed qualities of ours. It also manifests in dreams as behaviour that 'is not ours'.
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After a few days of rest it was finally time for the final ascent to Elbrus. Weather was good and in the morning we started our way again to the slope of Elbrus. The last chairlift was closed so we had to walk from there. That was fine, a little warm up, not too long distance, it took less than an hour. And the chairlift was a little bit spooky anyway. A little chair where we had to jump on with our big backbags. Nothing to fix you there. I wondered if anyone has ever fallen off from there. At 3800 some people including me decided to save strength and took a snowtractor which took us to the already familiar camp place. We didn’t take the tractor the first time because for the acclimation it was necessary to walk the distance. All this acclimation process seemed kind of mystical for me. It seemed a little unbelievable that after the first ascent we should now feel good in the same height. Luckily everything was normal, no headache and sickness. Just fast movement again caused dizziness.
In the evening we were just packing stuff which we thought would be useful for the final rise. Glucose, energygel, hematogen, sportsdrink, feather jacket in case it would be cold, extra tick cloves fixed to my jacket – that wind wouldn’t blow them away in case i would drop them. Techincally i was prepared. We were given last instructions to start the rise at one in the night if the weather is clear. Then we went to take a little nap. When it was time to wake up, i thought again, what the hell, wake up at one in the night, in the cold and dark and go to climb a mountain. Gee, people should sleep at this time.
Again i felt a little claustrophobic while sleeping and when we woke up they said that i had again talked in sleep. This time i had talked very loud, i had said something like „Let me go, don’t hold me, don’t drag me...” Heh, weird, i didn’t remember any dreams with this kind of content.
After the morning tea and a discusting fast-soup it was time to go. Little lights were already gathering and at 1.00 we started moving in a row. It was dark, just the head lights were visible. I decided to go very slowly. I had really no idea how far i would manage to go. In the dark it was good to walk, the steep ascents which were waiting for us, were not visible. I felt quite good considering the sircumstances. I didn’t actually care how far i would go. I didn’t have this big goal to reach the top. I suppose part of me was still wondering am i really there. In the dark it was also hard to keep track of time and i didn’t have a clock either. I think after a few hours i reached the Pastuchova Rocks. Thanks to the darkness i suppose the ascent didn’t seem too steep, i got up quite easily.
By that time most of those who hadn’t turned back, had passed me. It didn’t disturb me at all. I knew i have plenty of time. It started dawning, i knew sun would rise somewhere around six o’clock. The ascent was again quite steep, it was more comfortable to move in zigzag. From the Pastuchova Rocks we had to go straight for a while an then turn left and continue along the mountain slope in traverse. When it was getting lighter it seemed like the straight part will end soon and it will get gentle in the traverse. I was already getting a little tired of this steep rise, it was burdensome for the calfs. But it motivated me that soon the traverse would begin. It seemed like the sun was rising for an eternity and also like it took an eternity to get to the traverse. Well, i didn’t let that bother me too much. I said to my self, soon i’m on the traverse, then it is easier. As it was getting lighter, i was also able to take photos. Sometimes i tried to rest, sat on the snow but it was too steep to feel comfortable and i was very sleepy of the height. Also snow was cold and i thought it wouldn’t be good to fall asleep there. Though i think it was the sweetest sleepiness in the world. On Elbrus i think it is not that dangerous but on higher mountains it’s one of the causes of death. You just feel so sleepy and comfortably slip into the dreamland and freeze to death. A painless death.
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While it was getting lighter i could see the valley down there, soft clouds between the mountains, while up there it was totally clear. After a while the shadow of Elbrus started to be visible in the sky. For a while i was busy photographing the sunrise. But soon i had enough of that and started to rise again. Somewhere there i started to feel claustrophobic again. I had a face mask which covered my cheeks and chin. On the mask also hat. Then the headlight around my head with its elastic band. Then the sunglasses also with elastic band closely against my face. They were those glasses, like swimming glasses. All this started to really disturb me at some point. And later also some of my hair got out from under the mask and tickled my cheeks. Man, i feel discusting even now when i think about this. I tried to get my hair back under the mask, but it didn’t stay there. Then i decided to try not to think about it. It worked to some extent.
It was light already, it was about six am. Though my backbag was small, it already started to get heavy on my left shoulder. The featherjacket in it was useless. It was quite warm, only my thumb and toes were a little cold for a while. By that time i had reached to the traverse. It turned out that it was just an illusion that it would be easier there and the ascent wouldn’t be so steep. But still it seemed that soon, very soon it will get less steep. Just a little bit more and it will be less steep... so it seemed... for the next two hours... I was quite tired there already, sometimes i ate some glucose, but i didn’t want the energy gels. I didn’t want to rest either, i just wanted this endless ascent to end. I kept repeating to myself – i have to get to the saddle, i have to get to the saddle (this is the place between the two peaks). Turning back seemed not to be an option. Maybe i went too fast, maybe i should have taken it more easy. This was where i started to have a little headache and sickness. I wanted to go fast but it was not possible because i started to wheeze and for several times felt dizzy because of the lack of oxygen. Few times even seemed that passing out was not far. And the flowering backbags band was pressing on my shoulder. It wasn’t heavy, but the feeling was close to that of claustrophobia. But turning back seemed like leaving something unfinished. I thought about how my friend is waiting in the saddle and that also gave me some strength to carry on (we hadn’t made an agreement about that, but i knew he was there)
Then finally the steepness started to give in and after a while the saddle was also visible. After the sunrise i had lost all interest towards photographing so no photos of that. I saw some people in the saddle from a distance. It was a good place for resting for the last stretch. First i couldn’t recognize persons but as i got closer i was able to see a man with a red jacket and yellow gaiters. I knew it’s my friend and i thought at least i have to reach him. A smooth descent and a short ascent again to the place where he was sitting. The ascent was maybe about twenty to thirty meters long, but i seemed to take so much time. Then i landed on the snow, ripped of my backbag, the hat, the headlamp, the sunglasses, the mask, the hair away from my face, whuuh my head was free! At this moment i felt like now i’m done. Even though some part of me was thinking, if i rest for about an hour, then i’m able to continue (i had plenty of time to still get to the top), still the other part was damn sure, that i won’t take one single step uphills anymore. While sitting also the headache and sickness got stronger. I slept for a moment, sleep was still very sweet, but snow was cold. So i was not even able to rest comfortably. I shared the hematogen with my friend, we didn’t talk much. Then i stood up and said i’m going back. He didn’t say much about that, just fine, go. He had been there already for few hours, he seemed a bit tired and weary. But he was one of the instructors, so he could not leave yet. I would have wanted to stay for a while, now it seems it was a bit like rushing to go down so quick, but it was like my body came down itself not caring about what i want. I put on the hat and sunglasses and started moving, there was no way i would have put the face mask on again.
The descent was easy, though first i thought my legs would be very tired. They say that most of the accidents in the mountains happen while getting down. Because people are then tired and incautious. I felt food though, not too tired. I still had the headache and sickness all the way down, but it was milder while moving. At some point it got very hot and i couldn’t wait to get rid of all the clothes. The descent also seemed endless but finally i was down.
We spent one more night at the Saviours Rocks. Just the same as raising too fast is dangerous, also descending too fast can be dangerous for the health, so we went down the next day. Already next morning i felt very fresh and all the effort and hardness had been forgotten. I felt like there had been no effort at all.
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Wow, did i really write it all down ;D
First when i came back, i was not so enthusiastic about the thought, but then it all started to come by itself. Now i actually see some things in a different light about this journey. It seemed quite ordinary first, but now i'm starting to have a better overview.
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Fantastic, Girl. Good, good job. I'm impressed. Thanks for all the detail. t
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The descent was easy, though first i thought my legs would be very tired. They say that most of the accidents in the mountains happen while getting down. Because people are then tired and incautious. I felt food though, not too tired. I still had the headache and sickness all the way down, but it was milder while moving. At some point it got very hot and i couldn’t wait to get rid of all the clothes. The descent also seemed endless but finally i was down.
Great story T.
In the descend it sounds like you walk alone. Was it so? I thought that you always moved in groups, for safety and support and such matters?
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Very interesting taimi. It is good that you have written this all down. The photos are stunning!
On what you have said, the feeling on the mountain and the sleep experiences, indicates you have dislodged things deep inside you. This has been and excellent effort, on an internal and external level.
Let us know if you have more of these awaking problems, and exactly how they feel.
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:) :) :)
The moment you mentioned the climb my mind strayed to your artistic camera lense and I have been looking forward to seeing your eye's discoveries. You have a beautiful link to your creative energys linked in that, thanks for sharing it here.
First when i came back, i was not so enthusiastic about the thought, but then it all started to come by itself. Now i actually see some things in a different light about this journey. It seemed quite ordinary first, but now i'm starting to have a better overview.
You are a brave one to attempt such! No fear in that.. I admire your courage.
Its been my experience that the 'ordinary' is where the 'magic' waits sleeping.. ready to be awakend. Its a state of 'mind'
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Awesome!
Beautiful!
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Great story T.
In the descend it sounds like you walk alone. Was it so? I thought that you always moved in groups, for safety and support and such matters?
Everyone chose their own tempo. Most people moved in groups. I prefered moving alone, I went up mostly alone and came down also alone.
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Let us know if you have more of these awaking problems, and exactly how they feel.
I don't know how it feels, maye a little like some agitation, restlessness.
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I get similar kind of shiver while driving. This i noticed already before this trip.
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There was this little incident on the mountain. From our tent place, while i was smoothing the surface, i found an old fork. I said, hey i founf a fork. My friend asked right away "whatkind of fork is it, if it's not aluminium, then it's mine". I asked have you lost a fork here, have you had the tent right on this spot before. He said yes he had lost a fork there, and also that he has had a tent everywhere there. Well, thats's possible, he has been there many many times. I kept the fork. It's a little bit rusty even though there's written stainless steel on it.
:)
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the dream talk of men and bitches: you will have to work that out for yourself taimi. life is about learning.
I have noticed something weird that started during this trip. Sometimes when i sleep and wake up suddenly, somehow my body starts trembling or shaking. It's almost like heart beating very strong and fast and my body shakes in this rhythm.
I expect this is from premature re-entry. I'd say your astral body has been jolted by this Elbrus experience, and is jumping back into your body too fast - could be frightened back - there is something you have contacted in yourself that your astral is still digesting.
I also expect your work issues stem from the same problem. You are restless and given to strange shifts - you interpret this as your old restless needs to find something better in jobs etc, but actually it is your astral body shifting in and out of alignment. This is the same as what people call reverse culture-shock. This feeling, is what we do these journeys for - the world opens up a crack, and the wind from the unknown blows our bones.
One day you will be able to sustain the feeling, without fret, panic or turmoil, and look down into the endless darkness below you.
I suggest you place a small stone in your belly button again. That should bring you some stability.
In the morning we woke up exactly during the sunrise to make an ascent to the hight of about 4700 meters where there were The Pastuchova Rocks. I went alone again. I was very tired already in the beginning. For the fastest it took about one or two hours. After about four hours almost everyone had passed me. I was just staggering there with very little steps, taking photos, thinking about going back all the time. I reached the beginning of the rocks, but from there on the ascent started to be very steep, so i decided to go back. I felt totally tired, sleepy and unwilling to do anything. I thought how the hell i am supposed to climb to the top if i’m so tired already there. Also i thought people must be totally crazy wanting to climb a mountain.
Firstly, altitude sickness. That is the effect. Never had it myself, but it is well known. You just have to hold on and hope you recover. Some people don't recover for weeks - happened to a friend of mine in Lhasa.
But this passage describes a pattern in you. You don't like to push yourself. You don't mind when you feel good - everyone can keep going when they feel good. It is when you don't feel good, when it gets tough, that the journey sorts out the pilgrims.
This is a recurring pattern in you, and not just you. You have the capacity to go way beyond your limits, or you wouldn't be here in this group. But you also have a lazy streak, that just wants to go off and lie in the sun and grass - leave the struggle to others. You don't know yourself.
There is a threshold - once you have passed through that a few times, you will find it easier. Some call it 'second wind'. But it is in your mind that the first obstacle confronts - your mind tricks you into not pushing yourself - tells you all kinds of lies, about how stupid others are, or you are, about how its better to take the soft option.
I am not talking here of when we need to make sensible decisions about pacing ourselves - you displayed the ability to know when to do that, and not compare yourself to others, but know your own body. That part is fine. It is when your mind tells you it's OK to stop before you have even given your body a chance to show you what it can do. I suggest you look suspiciously on that little voice in your head that tries to sell you short, and wants to sabotage your destiny.
I kept repeating to myself – i have to get to the saddle, i have to get to the saddle (this is the place between the two peaks). Turning back seemed not to be an option. Maybe i went too fast, maybe i should have taken it more easy. This was where i started to have a little headache and sickness. I wanted to go fast but it was not possible because i started to wheeze and for several times felt dizzy because of the lack of oxygen. Few times even seemed that passing out was not far. And the flowering backbags band was pressing on my shoulder. It wasn’t heavy, but the feeling was close to that of claustrophobia. But turning back seemed like leaving something unfinished. I thought about how my friend is waiting in the saddle and that also gave me some strength to carry on (we hadn’t made an agreement about that, but i knew he was there)
This is the other part of your mind - the one that know how to press on, despite all obstacles. This is the part that has to grow stronger - it is a long road, takes time.
The image of your friend waiting - another device of the mind, but one that worked for you, not against you. Later you won't need such devices, you'll just silence your mind and store your energy for the tasks and the journey.
At this moment i felt like now i’m done. Even though some part of me was thinking, if i rest for about an hour, then i’m able to continue (i had plenty of time to still get to the top), still the other part was damn sure, that i won’t take one single step uphills anymore.
You describe the battle in your mind well. I can't comment on your decision to stop there, and return back down - quite likely that was the correct decision - again, you have to know your own limits. Though you may not realise the effect this had on the mind of your friend, still I suspect your action was the right one, for you and him.
Once the battle to remove the mental sabotager is won, and the mind can settle into silence, then we know the right course of action - there are always more mountains, and not all of them are physical.
I read this as a success taimi. You discovered a strength inside yourself you are not accustomed to using, even though you know it is there. You pushed through and reached your top of the mountain. That was all that was necessary. This pushing through, plus the power of the mountain itself, plus the approaching struggles you are about to face, are all combining to dislodge your astral body from its sleep. That is the real success!
We do anything to achieve this outcome. It is the real beginnings of awakening. Now, just get your stability back - put the stone in your bellybutton - or you'll make some error of judgement that could hurt you.
Now you know you can climb alone - you don't need your friend waiting on the saddle.
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I came to a little thought about this mountain. Don't remember how it was exactly, but i suppose locals also call it something like Womans Breasts or Virgins Breasts or something like that. So i was thinking that the saddle is like chest/heart ::)
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After this trip my friend left for a month. In the last moment he made some problem out of nothing. Then he was pissed about something without me knowing. So he left fast and didn't even say good bye properly. That really hurt. It's been a very long time since the actions of someone else have mattered that much to me. I was just filled with total sadness. I wasn't angry at him or thinking that he did something wrong. I was just so sad about the situation. I even cried a little.
I just thought this was interesting. In some sense it felt good or pure, like i wasn't judging anyhow how i should feel.
So I'm still capable of having strong feelings towards another person 8). We got along very well during this trip. The biggest problem was, that we were not able to spend as much time together as i (and also he) would have wanted. At some point i felt very strong affection towards him. The feelings have gotten only stronger in the course of time. From his appearance and actions and what he has said, i can see that he feels the same. I hope this continues.
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((((T)))))
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Time has passed since this trip, lots of water has flown into the ocean and my skills with photoshop have improved somewhat. so now i was able to make this panorama of 4 photos ;D
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you are getting good t,
great photo
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thanksh, this time when i go - which is still not sure, you never know - i plan to walk around with more open eyes and take better pictures of the nice mountain views. i'm hoping to be in better shape this time and that tiredness won't stop me from enjoyng the environment as much as i think it did.
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What could be better to say, with the panorama photo in mind:
The Sky is the Limit!
(for your improving abilities)
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i plan to walk around with more open eyes
how many?
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I don't know, six or seven or something like that 8)
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take a look at a fly's eye.
then say "My seeing will be that!"