The Covenant with Spirit
You will recall early on in Castaneda's association with Don Juan, a time when Don Juan told him there was only one thing he needed, spirit, and he didn't have it - that he think about that, instead of any other rubbish. You will also recall a time at the end of the Journey to Ixtlan, when Don Juan told Castaneda that we reach a point in our acquisition of power and knowledge, when we realise no matter how much potency we acquire, it is not enough. There is always a gap that we cannot fill ourselves.
This reflects a battle within the human species itself. On the side of the supremacy of humanity, we have Scientism, and on the other side we have Religion. I could go into this distinction more, but that is for another post. The critical point is made in the distinction between Science Fiction and Science Fantasy. Science Fiction depicts the successful outcome dependant exclusively upon human will and skill. Science Fantasy depicts the same outcome as the result of human will and skill, but in which at the last moment, is only achieved by a mysterious force. Historically, humans have lent heavily on the mysterious force, and insufficiently upon human attributes. With the rise of science, the pendulum has swung back the other way, such that now those who believe in the Force, feel it necessary to defend their position. Don Juan explicitly resides on this latter side, although he sees no reason to defend it.
Within Religion, the issue remains contentious. There are those who see human capacity as a source of egoism, which repels God. Then there are those who see that God helps those who help themselves. I have been fascinated by this contention all my adult life, but I made my decision a long time ago, right at the start of my journey of the Path. Although I constantly reflect upon those who remained on the faith-in-God-is-all side, nonetheless I am under no illusions that the path I took is correct, we require both: ultimate human intelligence, will and skill, as well as the guidance of Spirit.
But it goes further than simply receiving some grace from God at the last moment. If, no matter how much effort we put in, we still require the gift of Spirit at the end, then why don't we access that right now, at the beginning or at any point along the way?
Recognising our ultimate insufficiency, it is incumbent upon us to build a relationship with Spirit constantly in our daily lives. To achieve this, we have to ask. We ask for guidance, for help, for understanding and outcomes. We dialogue with Spirit. The problem is to remember! to ask for help.
But that does not mean we sit back and wait for Spirit's intervention. We employ our own will, intent and ingenuity to the full. That is our offering. We act as if only we ourselves can find the solution, not forgetting we have Spirit on our team. We take this position: I am the person in charge here, and I must find a solution. I am Spirit's representative on the ground, and with that full authority I call on whatever I require to accomplish the task set before me.
It works like this: unless I hand over all my being to Spirit, as my ultimate offering, the stamp of my commitment to the quest I seek, which I know that only Spirit can bestow, then I have nothing, I am finished. I take up the work of Spirit with every capacity I have within my being. I don't long for a quiet house in the suburbs with my grandchildren running around my feet and reading a nice book by the fireside. I long to be Spirit's ambassador in every moment of my remaining life. This is my part in the covenant.
Spirit's part in the covenant is to lead me to the ultimate gift it can bestow: to retain the essence of life after death. Everything is focused on that outcome, and no mistakes can be made, no fudging of the clauses. I hand over my quest to Spirit, in utter completeness. I accept what Spirit sends me as it's part in the covenant. We have a profoundly intimate connection, which makes every other relationship pale into folly. That means we can pretend we are attracted to, or wanting to have sex with, or wanting the money from, or wanting the validation from, or wanting the attention of, anyone or anything we meet, but we are seared with the brand of Spirit on our soul, and the rest is all just the play of Lila: the expression of our love-of-life and laughter at its absurdity. When the act gets serious, we retreat to our dark lover: Spirit. Everything else is left suspended in translucent light. We must play. That is our nature. But we must also know where the song stops, and which seat is ours. Some don't grasp this, and although we feel for their confusion or suspicion, we have no choice: we follow only one leader, into wherever it leads us, and from out of whatever it deems we must experience.
This covenant. It is everything to me. I can't alone, in isolation, find the path to ultimate liberation. I have tried, I have sought it in the remotest corners of the earth, but always it eludes me. I know all the techniques, practised them, let them drop, taken up new methods, and I'm sure all this is of critical importance, yet not critical enough: it is only an expression of love for the one being that can vouchsafe my quest.
I could have done almost anything in life, and I look upon others who appear in the media as leaders in their field. My mother knew I could ascend to appear in the newspapers of her city so that she could be proud of me, yet she underestimated my spirit: my passion beyond populist outcomes. I craved the ultimate offered by offered and took the gravel path instead of the highway in pursuit of that quest. Until finally, I had nothing that would suffice to claim victory, except my only friend.
I worked tirelessly, sacrificed completely, applied myself fully, and trusted unconditionally. That was my path. That is my path. I didn't take out superannuation. I didn't put my money into term deposits through my life - I put it into experiences through which Spirit could touch me. Now I am reliant upon Spirit for everything, and yet I also tether my donkey! I use my intelligence and prudence, just not to the extent that I seek to stand aside from the whim of Spirit.
This is the force of my life and underpins everything I am. So, if you don't agree, you should not be in Soma, and I dearly recommend you nip off as quickly as possible, because this force is the most contagious thing imaginable. Worse still, if you don't know and commit yourself to this principle you will fall between stools: you will be useless for the world and for Spirit. Such a fate is disastrous.
We apply ourselves to all the techniques we have learnt on this path. That is essential. There is no way forward thinking we are above practice and application of the tools of our trade. This is unfortunately, where most fail, such that they never reach the point along the river where the reverse-current begins to assist us. Then we learn the language of Spirit. Then we act on the impulses of Spirit. Then we throw everything onto Spirit's boat and watch with fascination at the world through which it steers us. But we never relinquish striving!
No matter how much we throw to Spirit, it still demands we work and struggle for answers, walking every step: success depends on our acumen, our discernment. It's just in the final moment, the moment of meditation, when we fall back in the arms of Spirit and release: what It wills will be done.
Drop all struggle and sink into the voice of the deep current beneath: trust It.
