Topic: Quick catches

[Michael]

A young man named Johnny bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, I have some bad news. The donkey is on my truck, but I'm afraid he's dead."

Johnny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Johnny said, "Just unload the donkey anyway."

The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with him?"

Johnny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

But Johnny, with a big smile on his face, said "O yes I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Johnny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Johnny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $798.00."

Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"

Johnny replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a really great guy."

Johnny grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Australia, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he took from Aussie voters, as long as he gave them back some of the money,  most of them thought he was a great guy.

[Michael]

    There was a boy
    and at an age when no one should suffer so
    he was witness to a tragedy of violence
    and he lost someone he loved deeply.

    And for many weeks he was quiet
    and troubled inside.  From a distance,
    his Grandfather watched him,
    and waited.

    So one night the boy saw his Grandfather
    sitting outside the ring of the fire
    with the light flickering gently on his face,
    and he went to him, and the boy spoke to him, softly.

    "Grandfather," he said.  "Each night and each day
    I am torn up to pieces in my heart,
    because there is a fight happening there.
    I have two wolves in my heart
    and they are fighting.  One wolf
    has a strong back and the eyes
    of my mother, and he is kind.
    The other wolf is vicious and he wishes
    to kill.  And I have waited to see
    which one will win this fight,
    this fight in my heart,
    and I am bleeding,
    and I don't know    I don't know      I don't know."

    "Yes," said his Grandfather.

    "Grandfather, can you tell me
    which wolf will win
    the fight in my heart?
    Do you know?"

    The boy's Grandfather was quiet for a long time.

    "Yes," he said at last.  "Yes, I  know which wolf will win."

    "Tell me," said the boy.

    "The one you feed."