Author Topic: The Beetle  (Read 62 times)

erismoksha

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The Beetle
« on: September 24, 2007, 08:26:37 AM »
This part of J2X reminds me of last year, when I saw the march of the beetles at my sisters.

How they were curling around the long path, and some were going into the street, getting ran over.

The majority of them were walking towards the road. But a few of them had turned around.

"The sun was already low. My eyes were tired. I looked down at the ground and caught sight of a large black beetle. It came out from behind a small rock pushing a ball of dung twice its size. I followed its movements for a long time. The insect seemed unconcerned with my presence, and kept on pushing its load over rocks, roots, depressions, and protuberances on the ground. For all I knew, the beetle was not aware that I was there. The thought occurred to me that I could not possibly be sure that the insect was not aware of me. That thought triggered a series of rational evaluations about the nature of the insect's world as opposed to mine.

The beetle and I were in the same world, and obviously the world was not the same for both of us. I became immersed in watching it, and marvelled at the gigantic strength it needed to carry its load over rocks and down crevices.

I observed the insect for a long time, and then I became aware of the silence around me. Only the wind hissed between the branches and leaves of the chaparral. I looked up, turned to my left in a quick and involuntary fashion, and caught a glimpse of a faint shadow or a flicker on a rock a few feet away. At first I paid no attention to it, but then I realized that that flicker had been to my left. I turned again suddenly, and was able clearly to perceive a shadow on the rock. I had the weird sensation that the shadow instantly slid down to the ground, and the soil absorbed it as a blotter dries an ink blotch.

A chill ran down my back. The thought crossed my mind that death was watching me and the beetle.

I looked for the insect again, but I could not find it. I thought that it must have arrived at its destination, and then had dropped its load into a hole in the ground. I put my face against a smooth rock.

The beetle emerged from a deep hole, and stopped a few inches away from my face. It seemed to look at me, and for a moment I felt that it became aware of my presence; perhaps as I was aware of the presence of my death.

I experienced a shiver. The beetle and I were not that different after all. Death, like a shadow, was stalking both of us from behind the boulder. I had an extraordinary moment of elation. The beetle and I were on a par. Neither of us was better than the other. Our death made us equal.

My elation and joy were so overwhelming that I began to weep. Don Juan was right. He had always been right. I was living in a most mysterious world, and like everyone else, I was a most mysterious being; and yet I was no more important than a beetle."


 

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