Topic: John Lennon

[Michael]

(just while I'm at it)

I sat belonely

I sat belonely down a tree,
humbled fat and small.
A little lady sing to me
I couldn't see at all.

I'm looking up and at the sky,
to find such wondrous voice.
Puzzly puzzle, wonder why,
I hear but have no choice.

'Speak up, come forth, you ravel me',
I potty menthol shout.
'I know you hiddy by this tree'.
But still she won't come out.

Such softly singing lulled me sleep,
an hour or two or so
I wakeny slow and took a peep
and still no lady show.

Then suddy on a little twig
I thought I see a sight,
A tiny little tiny pig,
that sing with all it's might.

'I thought you were a lady'.
I giggle, - well I may,
To my suprise the lady,
got up - and flew away.

[Michael]

(this one's for me)

Sad Michael

There was no reason for Michael to be sad that morning, (the little wretch); everyone liked him, (the scab). He'd had a hard days night that day, for Michael was a Cocky Watchtower. His wife Bernie, who was well controlled, had wrabbed his norman lunch but he was still sad. It was strange for a man whom have everything and a wife to boot. At 4 o'clock when his fire was burking bridely a Poleaseman had clubbed in to parse the time around. ‘Goodeven Michael,’ the Poleaseman speeg, but Michael did not answer for he was debb and duff and could not speeg.

‘How's the wive, Michael’ spoge the Poleaseman.

‘Shuttup about that!’

‘I thought you were debb and duff and could not speeg,’ said the Poleaseman.

‘Now what am I going to do with all my debb and duff books?’ said Michael, realising straight away that here was a problem to be reckoned with.

[nichi]

 

[Michael]

(I'm cracking up here)

An Alphabet

A is for Parrot which we can plainly see
B is for glasses which we can plainly see
C is for plastic which we can plainly see
D is for Doris
E is for binoculars I'll get in five
F is for Ethel who lives next door
G is for orange because we love to eat when we can get them because they come from abroad
H is for England and (Heather)
I is for monkey we see in the tree
J is for parrot which we can plainly see
K is for shoetop we wear to the ball
L is for Land because brown
K is for Venezula where the oranges come from
N is for Brazil near Venezuela (very near)
O is for football which we kick about a bit
T is for Tommy who won the war
Q is a garden which we can plainly see
R is for intestines which hurt when we dance
S is for pancake or whole-wheat bread
U is for Ethel who lives on the hill
P is arab and her sister will
V is for me
W is for lighter which never lights
X is for easter--have one yourself
Y is a crooked letter and you can't straighten it
Z is for Apple which we can plainly see

This is my story both humble and true
Take it to pieces and mend it with glue

[Michael]

(I can't contain myself anymore)

At The Denis

Madam: I have a hallowed tooth that suffer me grately.
Sir: Sly down in that legchair Madam and open your gorble wide - your mouse is all but toothless.
Madam: Alad! I have but eight tooth remaining (eight tooth left).
Sir: Then you have lost eighty three.
Madam: Impossyble.
Sir: Everydobby knows there are foor decisives two canyons and ten grundies, which make thirsty two in all.
Madam: But I have done everything to save my tooth.
Sir: Perhumps! but to no avague.
Madam: Ah! why did I not insult you sooner!
Sir: To late, it must be now or neville.
Madam: You will pull it out for me then!
Sir: No, madman, I will excrete it.
Madam: But that is very painfull.
Sir: Let me see it - Crack! there it be madacre.
Madam: But sir I wished to keep (was anxious to keep) that tooth.
Sir: It was all black and moody, and the others are too.
Madam: Mercy - I will have none to eat with soon.
Sir: A free Nasty Heath set is good, and you will look thirty years jungle.
Madam: (Aside) Thirty years jungle; (Aloud) Sir I am no catholic, pull out all my stumps.
Sir: O.K. Gummy.

[Michael]

(just one more - i promise)

The Fat Budgie

I have a little budgie
He is my very pal
I take him walks in Britain
I hope I always shall.

I call my budgie Jeffrey
My grandads name's the same
I call him after grandad
Who had a feathered brain.

Some people don't like budgies
The little yellow brats
They eat them up for breakfast
Or give them to their cats.

My uncle ate a budgie
It was so fat and fair.
I cried and called him Ronnie
He didn't seem to care

Although his name was Arthur
It didn't mean a thing.
He went into a petshop
And ate up everything.

The doctors looked inside him,
To see what they could do,
But he had been too greedy
And died just like a zoo.

My Jeffrey chirps and twitters
When I walk into the room,
I make him scrambled egg on toast
And feed him with a spoon.

He sings like other budgies
But only when in trim
But most of all on Sunday
Thats when i plug him in.

He flies about the room sometimes
And sits upon my bed
And if he's really happy
He does it on my head.

He's on a diet now you know
From eating ear too much
They say if he gets fatter
He'll have to wear a crutch.

It would be funny wouldn't it
A budgie on a stick
Imagine all the people
Laughing til they're sick.

So that's my budgie Jeffrey
Fat and yellow too
I love him more than daddie
And I'm only thirty-two.

[Michael]

(just one more...)

Two Virgins

WONSAPONATIME there was two Ballons called Jock and Yono. They were strictly in love-bound to happen in a million years. They were together man. Unfortunatimetable they both seemed to have previous experience--which kept calling them one way oranother (you know howitis). But they battled on against overwhelming oddites, includo some of there beast friends. Being in love they cloong even more together man--but some of the poisonessmonster of outrated buslodedshithrowers did stick slightly and tey occaasionaly had to resort to the drycleaners. Luckily this did not kill them and they werent banned from the olympic games. They lived hopefully every after, and who could blame them...

[Michael]

(that's it - I'm off to do music now)


The Moldy Moldy Man

I'm a moldy moldy man
I'm moldy thru and thru
I'm a moldy moldy man
You would not think it's true
I'm moldy till my eyeballs
I'm moldy til my toe
I will not dance I shyballs
I'm such a Humble Joe.

[nichi]

  Most enjoyable!

[Jennifer-]

(just one more - i promise)

The Fat Budgie

I have a little budgie
He is my very pal
I take him walks in Britain
I hope I always shall.

I call my budgie Jeffrey
My grandads name's the same
I call him after grandad
Who had a feathered brain.

Some people don't like budgies
The little yellow brats
They eat them up for breakfast
Or give them to their cats.

My uncle ate a budgie
It was so fat and fair.
I cried and called him Ronnie
He didn't seem to care

Although his name was Arthur
It didn't mean a thing.
He went into a petshop
And ate up everything.

The doctors looked inside him,
To see what they could do,
But he had been too greedy
And died just like a zoo.

My Jeffrey chirps and twitters
When I walk into the room,
I make him scrambled egg on toast
And feed him with a spoon.

He sings like other budgies
But only when in trim
But most of all on Sunday
Thats when i plug him in.

He flies about the room sometimes
And sits upon my bed
And if he's really happy
He does it on my head.

He's on a diet now you know
From eating ear too much
They say if he gets fatter
He'll have to wear a crutch.

It would be funny wouldn't it
A budgie on a stick
Imagine all the people
Laughing til they're sick.

So that's my budgie Jeffrey
Fat and yellow too
I love him more than daddie
And I'm only thirty-two.

One of my favorites 

[erik]

"When I use a word", Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

Humpty Dumpty’s explanation of the first verse of Jabberwocky from Through the Looking Glass and Alice’s Adventures there.

'You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir,' said Alice.
'Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called
"Jabberwocky"?'

  'Let's hear it,' said Humpty Dumpty.  'I can explain all the
poems that were ever invented--and a good many that haven't
been invented just yet.'

  This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse:

            'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
              Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
            All mimsy were the borogoves,
              And the mome raths outgrabe.

  'That's enough to begin with,' Humpty Dumpty interrupted:
'there are plenty of hard words there.  "BRILLIG" means four
o'clock in the afternoon--the time when you begin BROILING
things for dinner.'

  'That'll do very well,' said Alice:  and "SLITHY"?'

  'Well, "SLITHY" means "lithe and slimy."  "Lithe" is the same
as "active."  You see it's like a portmanteau--there are two
meanings packed up into one word.'

  'I see it now,' Alice remarked thoughtfully:  'and what are
"TOVES"?'

  'Well, "TOVES" are something like badgers--they're something
like lizards--and they're something like corkscrews.'

  'They must be very curious looking creatures.'

  'They are that,' said Humpty Dumpty:  'also they make their
nests under sun-dials--also they live on cheese.'

  'Andy what's the "GYRE" and to "GIMBLE"?'

  'To "GYRE" is to go round and round like a gyroscope.  To
"GIMBLE" is to make holes like a gimlet.'

  'And "THE WABE" is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?'
said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity.

  'Of course it is.  It's called "WABE," you know, because it
goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it--'

  'And a long way beyond it on each side,' Alice added.

  'Exactly so.  Well, then, "MIMSY" is "flimsy and miserable"
(there's another portmanteau for you).  And a "BOROGOVE" is a
thin shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round--
something like a live mop.'

  'And then "MOME RATHS"?' said Alice.  'I'm afraid I'm giving
you a great deal of trouble.'

  'Well, a "RATH" is a sort of green pig:  but "MOME" I'm not
certain about.  I think it's short for "from home"--meaning
that they'd lost their way, you know.'

  'And what does "OUTGRABE" mean?'

  'Well, "OUTGRABING" is something between bellowing and
whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle:  however, you'll
hear it done, maybe--down in the wood yonder--and when you've
once heard it you'll be QUITE content.  Who's been repeating all
that hard stuff to you?'

[erik]

Jabberwocky!

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal blade in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought-
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood a while in thought

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh, Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.