Ha!
You have just begun reading about yourself, through reading his books. What and how you are thinking about his books is the first step in the learning process. You read a portion of his book, then stop and reflect on what you read, and on your responses and reactions to his books.
Speculative ( I put this as a warning to let you know I know that I don't know what I am talking about):
Do not just think, observe and listen within yourself, and to the world around you. Meaning can come from multiple directions, the world within and without you will change to fit the form of your conception. When you feel the 'sense of meaning' hone in on it, be it to the depths of it, focus on it, and it will unfold, as it unfolds gradually contemplate the meanings that arise...you will always be able to trace the sense of meaning to a sensation within your body...if for some reason you loose the path you are tracing, still yourself, return to your body, to your self-presence...
Loosing, forgetting, getting distracted from the sense of mean you are pondering into, can come with certain physiological-psychological responses.
We have more senses than the five, being with body, being embodied tunes you in to the sense of presence...perhaps even to the Presence. The sense of presence is closely connect to sense of touch, which is linked to the sense of self- all senses though separate 'in a sense' are in another sense interconnected, inter modulating, and all one Sense. Tuning into the body connects us to the Soul...much in the way Plotinus spoke of the Soul, Soul of one being connects to the Souls of all beings;
"The One is not just an intellectual conception but something that can be experienced, an experience where one goes beyond all multiplicity. Plotinus writes, "We ought not even to say that he will see, but he will be that which he sees, if indeed it is possible any longer to distinguish between seer and seen, and not boldly to affirm that the two are one."
This is part of how the act of physical sex can become a self transending act.
Why does all this matter, since all are one, you can also ask Gurdjieff for help in reading and comprehending his works.... that is why I have a picture of him above my altar.
As you read G. do not read as others read, or think as others think, instead do whatever it takes to take yourself out of the normal mindsets...read standing your head, read in complete silence, read in a noisy places, switch and rearrange your life just to reread the same passage with a new mind each an every time....return to the normal routine with your realizations, spend time just being still with this knowledge so gradually it becomes a part of you.
