Hey rudi I can only share experiences and that is that. I cannot say and would not say "believe cause my experience says this is so.' Like say with ghosts, if I had never had an experience, then I would be skeptical of other peoples claims. I am still skeptical when people make a claim. They might be lying, they might have imagined something which is a ghost, or perhaps they really encountered one. The only experiences I can validate is my own cause I was in the thick of it. And like the communcation from my mother, could someone have paged a five, right when I woke up, on the day she died? I find this very hard to believe, thus I believe it was her, somehow, someway. Also because of what my ex experienced right before the page came in.
it does seem you went to some lengths to have your own experiences, and they did not come to fruition. I can understand having doubts on things. I do all the time. Like what you said about assemblage point. I have never 'seen or felt' it so I dont know if it exists myself. Someone however may have a different experience with this. I have had dreams of the double, and for myself I feel this validated. The only thing I can think of, for you, if you are looking for experience and validation, is to gesture spirit. Ask to get some validation. I dont see why it would not happen for you. But that is what I would do to see if something could manifest for you.