Topic: LOVE vs fear

[Ke-ke wan]

Love vs Fear

If we could literally reach into you and remove all your fears – every one of them – how different would your life be? Think about it. If nothing stopped you from following your dreams, your life would probably be very different. This is what the dying learn. Dying makes our worst fears come forward to be faced directly. It helps us see the different life that is possible, and in that vision, takes the rest of our fears away.

Unfortunately, by the time the fear is gone most of us are too sick or too old to do those things we would have done before, had we not been afraid. […] Thus, one lesson becomes clear: we must transcend our fears while we can still do those things we dream of.
To transcend fear though, we must move somewhere else emotionally; we must move into love.
Happiness, anxiety, joy, resentment -- we have many words for the many emotions we experience in our lifetimes.

But deep down, at our cores, there are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt.

It's true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it's more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.

 Can you think of a time when you've been in both love and fear? It's impossible.
We have to make a decision to be in one place or the other. There is no neutrality in this. If you don't actively choose love, you will find yourself in a place of either fear or one of its component feelings. Every moment offers the choice to choose one or the other. And we must continually make these choices, especially in difficult circumstances when our commitment to love, instead of fear, is challenged.
Having chosen love, doesn't mean you will never fear again. In fact it means that many of your fears will come up to finally be healed.

This is an ongoing process. Remember that you will become fearful after you've chosen love, just as we become hungry after we eat. We must continually choose love in order to nourish our souls and drive away fear, just as we eat to nourish our bodies and drive away hunger.


--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler from "Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life and Living"

http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=680Hey

 

[erik]

One more version of black and white world?

[Firestarter]

I would say Elisabeth was deeper than that Juhani.

[erik]

I would say Elisabeth was deeper than that Juhani.

Oh well, what can I do if I was made so superficial?
Will be looking with curiosity how the practice of choosing love to get rid of fear will work out. Essentially, it is the experience and not words that determines the value of any theory.

[Firestarter]

Buddha was simple to tho. We suffer due to craving. ☺

There is some truth she wrote. Many when they find love, begin to fear. Like fear losing that love. So they react in ways to keep that love out of fear. They fear hitting the void after all and they fear the suffering and loss associated with losing it. They don't want to touch on emptiness. Right?

[erik]

Rather than to seek any resemblance to Buddhist view, focus on the most basic statements. The rest is built on them.
This captures it in a nutshell:

But deep down, at our cores, there are only two emotions: love and fear.

Agree with that?
Yes/No?

[Firestarter]

Do I personally? No.  We have love, hate, fear, pain, happiness, sadness, anger. You get the idea. But the article has some good input I cannot completely write off.

[erik]

Focus now, don't behave like an eel.
What is at our core?

[Firestarter]

Juhani you have such a way with words!

At my core is the divine spark of the spirit.

[Firestarter]

For the record I'm not totally disagreeing with you. But I have a soft spot for Elisabeth from what she wrote On Death and Dying. She helped countless people with that book. So perhaps I am biased when I saw the author. Hope that explains things.

[erik]

Well, I was quite sure you do not see things as a duality of love and fear. Hence, the whole discussion has been tongue-in-cheek poking to see what's on your mind. 

The idea of fear being at our core brought to my mind many views and theories that describe man's "natural" state of mind that, for example, dominates us when we crawl in jungles and are on a par with all sorts of four-legged critters.

Simply choosing love over fear...well, I just cannot see it working. A person's state of mind can change when the causes/triggers for experiencing certain of feelings (such as fear of something) and viewing world in a certain way are worked through and no "buttons" remain.

Anyhow, it is all theory unless followed through with diligent actions.

[Nick]

The idea reminds me of the Course in Miracles. I've not read the whole of the Course, and from a purely logical stand point I can't agree that all there is is fear or love. On the other hand, from a careful reading of the Course, there is much going on in the way it is worded that is not quite what it may seem on the surface. The techniques the Course provides, and there are many of them, are all designed to help you see that the world you currently perceive is false, and an illusion. That illusion is tied to the false self which is also an illusion. Then there is the idea that the real world is perfect just as it is. Love as described in the Course is not conventional emotional love, it is more akin to what A. H. Almass describes as an Essence feeling, and this love is not an attachment, but an energetic state of being-ness that causes us to let go of attachments to accept reality as it is.

If we then take the four enemies of the Warrior into account... Splice this concept onto a medicine wheel/compass as Theun Mares does in Cry of the Eagle. So that each of the enemies is one of the cardinal directions. Then we compare this to Timothy Leary's interpersonal Circumplex model of personality:



So, on Theun's model we see power is the south.
On Leary's model, dominance is at the top.

On Theun's Clarity is on the East.
On Leary's Hostility is on the left side. Now note that the closer you get to the center, the more hostility becomes critical, and realistic actions. In general behaviors that are willing to challenge the status quo, to attack problems etc. Reminds me of how discussion, a key to for acquiring clarity of mind, is similarly spelled to concussion. Also notice how in general what is on the circumference of the circle takes on a better version of itself as you approach the center.

On Theun's fear is in the North.
On Leary's we have submissive, weak, and spineless opposite side to dominance. Now is when we can see that perhaps they are basically the same model, just Leary's is positioned upside down relative to Theun's.

Theun's has old age on the west, he describes the flaw of old age, in part as a tendency toward complacency.
Leary has love and friendliness on this direction, and what do we do when in love or clingy in our friendliness? Maybe one thing people do is agree to everything, give in to much. Giving in to much is very much akin to complacency.

Why is this relevant to what is being discussed. Perhaps the author in question is intuiting this underlying dynamic. That is of the spiral journey of conquering the 4 enemies, starting with fear, and moving toward old age, which is psychologically speaking the part of us that feels competent and capable of handling life's challenges.

We then just have to remember as the Course shows that the outside of the circles is where we are in an illusion, it is the center we must spiral toward.