I generally follow the rule of "leave people alone". If I draw someone that is intent on not leaving me alone, I must be telling myself something. That something varies. When I perceive the attack, I usually withdraw myself from the person and the situation, step to the side and let their energy pass. Then, I wonder why I perceived the action as an attack. In a group situation, this is more difficult because some of the individuals are drawing the attack. In the case of a country, it's damn near impossible not to participate, somehow.
I'm generally accepting of others, but that doesn't mean I have to commit suicide (used as a metaphor). In a group situation, I prefer not to participate in the group. However, if I value my group participation enough, I may take steps to move the group to change their "draw" of the attack, or, in the recent case, to lock the attacker out. WE remove OURSELVES from the attack. I still accept that person, but I'd prefer not to participate in this group with her because that frustrates my purposes here. It limits my choices.
I guess what I'm saying is, if there is conflict, chances are there's at least one person holding to a belief as if it were an absolute. Where I am not noticing that, I'm looking to that other person to blame for their attack on me, so I'm holding another belief as an absolute. Were I to look at myself, first, I'm likely to just step aside, learn what the belief is, learn how it manifests as "absolute", and let it pass. It may or may not have an uncontrolled contact with the ground, taking the attacker with it. It matters not.
Assertions like, "You are too self important", and "You suck!" are projections from one person onto another of their own discounting of self. "You are making assumptions," is an assumption in and of itself. I find these quite comical. Indeed, I laugh myself silly at them.
On quotations, in every day usage, I try to avoid them, as they are either used because I can't say it better, or it's an argument from authority. I make a living in the practice of law to quote from authority, either from a previous case or a statute. It's rare that there's only one authority. In everyday usage, it's rare so as to be impossible that there's not another authority. Some quotes are so eloquent that I use them. Some are so beautiful, I want to share them. But it's not my business to pontificate and quotate to another person. In the reverse, I swear that I'm mostly oblivious to it when someone does it to me. I just don't care.
If someone is offended, it's their choice. Folks may attack me, and no, they don't have the blank check to do so from me, yet it is their choice. So, I exercise my choice to have more choices than that, and I step aside, if I can. It's always a "removal of myself". You can't remove another person. It's always been simple for me, when I am noticing and not holding onto some "absolute".
Namaste'
Todd
