"I experienced a peculiar feeling of emptiness. Obviously there was no reason in the world why don Juan had to care about me, but on the other hand I had almost the certainty that he cared about me personally; I thought it could not be otherwise.
“I have the feeling we are not talking about the same thing,” I said. “I shouldn’t have used myself as an example. What I meant to say was that there must be something in the world you care about in a way that is not controlled folly. I don’t think it is possible to go on living if nothing really matters to us.”
“That applies to you,” he said. “Things matter to you. You asked me about my controlled folly and I told you that everything I do in regard to myself and my fellow men is folly, because nothing matters.”
“My point is, don Juan, that if nothing matters to you, how can you go on living?”
He laughed and after a moments pause, in which he seemed to deliberate whether or not to answer, he got up and went to the back of his house. I followed him.
“Wait, wait, don Juan.” I said. “I really want to know, you must explain to me what you mean.”
“Perhaps it is not possible to explain,” he said. “Certain things in your life matter to you because they’re important to you, but for me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts nor the acts of my fellow men. I go on living, though, because I have my will. Because I have tempered my will throughout my life until it is neat and wholesome, and now it doesn’t matter to me that nothing matters. My will controls the folly of my life.”"
Carlos Castaneda, A Separate Reality