While it was getting lighter i could see the valley down there, soft clouds between the mountains, while up there it was totally clear. After a while the shadow of Elbrus started to be visible in the sky. For a while i was busy photographing the sunrise. But soon i had enough of that and started to rise again. Somewhere there i started to feel claustrophobic again. I had a face mask which covered my cheeks and chin. On the mask also hat. Then the headlight around my head with its elastic band. Then the sunglasses also with elastic band closely against my face. They were those glasses, like swimming glasses. All this started to really disturb me at some point. And later also some of my hair got out from under the mask and tickled my cheeks. Man, i feel discusting even now when i think about this. I tried to get my hair back under the mask, but it didn’t stay there. Then i decided to try not to think about it. It worked to some extent.
It was light already, it was about six am. Though my backbag was small, it already started to get heavy on my left shoulder. The featherjacket in it was useless. It was quite warm, only my thumb and toes were a little cold for a while. By that time i had reached to the traverse. It turned out that it was just an illusion that it would be easier there and the ascent wouldn’t be so steep. But still it seemed that soon, very soon it will get less steep. Just a little bit more and it will be less steep... so it seemed... for the next two hours... I was quite tired there already, sometimes i ate some glucose, but i didn’t want the energy gels. I didn’t want to rest either, i just wanted this endless ascent to end. I kept repeating to myself – i have to get to the saddle, i have to get to the saddle (this is the place between the two peaks). Turning back seemed not to be an option. Maybe i went too fast, maybe i should have taken it more easy. This was where i started to have a little headache and sickness. I wanted to go fast but it was not possible because i started to wheeze and for several times felt dizzy because of the lack of oxygen. Few times even seemed that passing out was not far. And the flowering backbags band was pressing on my shoulder. It wasn’t heavy, but the feeling was close to that of claustrophobia. But turning back seemed like leaving something unfinished. I thought about how my friend is waiting in the saddle and that also gave me some strength to carry on (we hadn’t made an agreement about that, but i knew he was there)
Then finally the steepness started to give in and after a while the saddle was also visible. After the sunrise i had lost all interest towards photographing so no photos of that. I saw some people in the saddle from a distance. It was a good place for resting for the last stretch. First i couldn’t recognize persons but as i got closer i was able to see a man with a red jacket and yellow gaiters. I knew it’s my friend and i thought at least i have to reach him. A smooth descent and a short ascent again to the place where he was sitting. The ascent was maybe about twenty to thirty meters long, but i seemed to take so much time. Then i landed on the snow, ripped of my backbag, the hat, the headlamp, the sunglasses, the mask, the hair away from my face, whuuh my head was free! At this moment i felt like now i’m done. Even though some part of me was thinking, if i rest for about an hour, then i’m able to continue (i had plenty of time to still get to the top), still the other part was damn sure, that i won’t take one single step uphills anymore. While sitting also the headache and sickness got stronger. I slept for a moment, sleep was still very sweet, but snow was cold. So i was not even able to rest comfortably. I shared the hematogen with my friend, we didn’t talk much. Then i stood up and said i’m going back. He didn’t say much about that, just fine, go. He had been there already for few hours, he seemed a bit tired and weary. But he was one of the instructors, so he could not leave yet. I would have wanted to stay for a while, now it seems it was a bit like rushing to go down so quick, but it was like my body came down itself not caring about what i want. I put on the hat and sunglasses and started moving, there was no way i would have put the face mask on again.
The descent was easy, though first i thought my legs would be very tired. They say that most of the accidents in the mountains happen while getting down. Because people are then tired and incautious. I felt food though, not too tired. I still had the headache and sickness all the way down, but it was milder while moving. At some point it got very hot and i couldn’t wait to get rid of all the clothes. The descent also seemed endless but finally i was down.
We spent one more night at the Saviours Rocks. Just the same as raising too fast is dangerous, also descending too fast can be dangerous for the health, so we went down the next day. Already next morning i felt very fresh and all the effort and hardness had been forgotten. I felt like there had been no effort at all.
