It's something that on the surface seems to be that I must maintain at least a small measure of control. Perhaps it is fear of the unknown... I don't know at this point. It's something that rears its head now and then and I am trying to deal with it. I agree, fear in some instances is a very good thing, in others though, it can be a great and unnecessary hindrance.
I was reading today earlier (actually by Osho of all people), how people fear uncertainty, which is certainly true, heh, and because it involves freedom. However, certainty, predictability, can also offer a prison. Like the example he gave was a good one, say an individual is a prisoner in a cell. He knows when he is going to eat, doesnt have to be out in the world and struggle and work for food. Food comes. He knows when he will sleep, he has a 'routine' existence. However, he's a prisoner in a cell and he's not free. However, with freedom, comes uncertainty, and the unknown, and perhaps the unknowable, for there are many things which are unknowable and we'll never know. So, with that whole deal, can come fear, too. However, at least you're free. Whereas a prisoner may not feel fear, may not have fear, but has a sorrid, pathetic existence. And the only reason he 'knows' anything, is because he's been enclosed in a systematic existence which has been created to keep him exactly where he is. And usually (strangely I ponder this due to some recent events), people may very well 'choose' via their own actions, their own folly, their own prisons, because something in them is terribly afraid to be free, to grow up, and deal with the responsibility freedom entails. Because it involves a responsibility.
I dont believe spirit wants us to exist inside a prison manufactured like that. So any relationship with spirit will not involve such restrictions, but freedom. However, like all fears, we have to be able to conquer our fear of uncertainty, burn through fear, for whatever reasons, if its we want things to go a certain way, answers which will better serve us, and those answers always come, spirit always answers, its a matter of two issues if we think spirit is not: we're not paying attention and listening intently, or we do get that 'answer' but we dont wish to accept it, and we're really being selfish and looking for the answer that we 'want,' and not the answer we actually 'need.'
That fear via this experience of the uncoiling, is there not only say, to keep things back a bit, but to make you realize your fears, and face them. There's that feeling of desiring control, and that alone can be a huge fear to conquer - losing control. That takes a surrender to that desire for control. The strange thing in this, is that once we surrender the desire for control, we will actually gain control; however, 'control' will not be up to our standard understanding of control.
