If you say you can not do a thing, then you can't.
Lori, when will you even try to understand what is said? Neither love nor emotions will substitute that.
The point here is that you cannot force anything out of your mind. You cannot get rid of things in your head just by talking differently or changing a haircut.
The change is slow. It takes months and years of cleaning your Tonal side and meditations to change the deepest layers of your mind.
There are no shortcuts. I thought you understood that after you have tried all sorts of shortcuts.
Remember the Ring of Naguals? All your other claims to glory and spiritual heights that were unfounded and unsustainable?
That is a point of the statement I posted.
And yes, becoming a true Buddhist is a slow road of learning and meditations.