Another way we can say it is one foot in the tonal, another foot in the nagual.
Why do we have to have a foot in samsara? Just like the tonal, as that is 'all we see' and can call it the world, we can't release that foot until we die.
Well.... maybe we can. But then we would be led to total madness. See, we'd be doing it for the wrong reasons. We want to be 'free' and escape all the world madness, like wars, and all the drama, consensual reality. What is illusion, what isnt real. But we're supposed to have a foot, because my own belief on this? Is because spirit wants folks to get enlightened, get the spirit, and typically spirit works through people, though not exclusive.
You shine your light. People see it, recognize something in that. Kinda like Bruce did for me, shine his big zen light. "I want that," not that I didnt have my own, but he had a huge light, cause he's a dragon. But in truth, he worked very hard all his life for that.
Its like a light going off all over the world, one by one. So, thats the part of service. Theres nothing wrong with wanting nirvana for the self, but even like buddha, one of the first things he did after the event under the bodhi tree - was rounded up others. Its because he knew it was important, and now, the dharma is all over the world, and moving on for others too. It was meant to be shared.
But, back to one foot. The difficult part, and even what Ive been really being challenged on the past year.... no, probably longer, is, how do I get the balance, when I know the call to renunciate the world is getting stronger, voice louder - but I dont separate from my fellow man?
Yet something in me, more and more, is drawing back, much more, and pulling me away. Before, my philosophy on that, yes, you do service, but I also thought it could be balanced better. But im finding, keeping that foot in the world, is in the wrong 'spot' in the world, more and more, and the spokes of the samsara wheel keep hitting it.
I had to stop for a min. and pause. I usually dont have to do that.
I guess where Im at right now in life, is I can recall, just float back on an old cloud I traveled once, to a time where I knew we're all supposed to serve the spirit in some way. I went to my group tarot reading last week, and that card came up. The image was of the multicolored prayer flags, and underneath the card, said SERVICE. Its funny cause michael's pic has all those color flags on the side of the hill. anyway, then the card under that and connected was the Old Man Sorcerer - Spirit. The layout for the week was Beyond Illusion. Anyway, the service card came up in the section for spirit help, and also old man sorcerer for spirit help - the under one.
But ive been noticing more 'world madness' in various ways. With the kids, parents of other kids. News lately, various things. Then other phenomena. Day before the lunar eclipse, for instance, a meteor flew over washington. No one has been able to locate it - they dont know where it landed, but all saw it soar, and all felt the 'boom.' But its unknown, a mystery, where it landed. Which is interesting.
We dont escape the world itself tho, to achieve nirvana tho. But we have to do an outer 'ripping' of the layers of the world, to find the spirit. And on the internal, same thing. We have to rip those layers which hide and cover the spirit, and unmask it. Its easy to think we've already gotten it, lay our hands on what we think is it, but we havent ripped the layers off. Then what we're seeing isnt really it. Its an illusion.
And I think thats part of the cue, even from the group thing 'beyond illusion.' Not just, stopping on the path, looking at the illusion itself, and thinking that is it. Like dreaming - we stop at a dream and watch it dance, its only dancing but what's going on backstage, and designing the dream - that's where we need to aim. Not simply watch the show, allowing the actors, assuming their roles, are the spirit. They're just puppets of the spirit, spirit wants to get our attention with. We cant stop there, thinking we're great dreamers. And no matter how good of dreamers we can become, we're not going to dream ourselves out of the madness. Our dreams, are simply to show ... how similar they can be, to when we're allegedly 'awake' in the world. The more we believe we have the world 'figured out' and defined, the more lost we are. However, the more we begin to realize, its a dream, and we're dreaming a lot of what we see, even while allegedly awake, then we're half-way there, half-won the battle.
So carefully we have the one foot in samsara, the world. But then we become the artists of illusion, the magicians, playing the smoke and mirrors act. We're there, but not a part of the world, in the same capacity. We only have that foot there, cause spirit wants us eventually to serve. And also cause we need a foot there, to rip the layer off of the world, so we can see what is beyond it. That presence which is alive, which always has been there, always will be, which is timeless. Which is beauty but the kind that wont ever decay, and the presence which will never leave us, as long as we dont leave it, or turn our back on it. And this, we have to make the most important intent, of all. Yes, the more we begin to do this, the uglier things become. Its like grabbing onto the spirit's hands, and then, for a brief glimmer, you see the ugliness of the madness, a stream pulling you toward it all, but you dont let go, you dont allow the current to sweep you away. Ive pulled out of that world, how do I ensure it can never pull me back into it, and its madness, again. I suppose by tightening my grip.
So thats the way I tend to walk. The spokes of samsara bruise my ankles from time to time and remind myself, while I was born into this world, have friends in this world, associates in this world, in truth, im still not a participant in this world. The world where people are hooked on their own suffering. Hooked on things that will never fulfill them. The world where they keep pursuing the same things which make them miserable, over and over, then wonder, why they're miserable. Hanging their hopes on the false, the unsteady, the things which will only distract them, and cause them to waste a great deal of their lives, on a life of sadness and despair. Even if my life has had some fierce turns in the road, ive been fortunate. Because I know better. Ive seen the red flags warning on taking certain roads, and where they would lead me. And avoided them unnecessarily.
