Well ... I just finished the book. I know ... I'm a slow reader
Here's a bit about Ego and what I've seen as sort of a "virus" with people. Whether it's just in everyday conversation, or an all out "brawl", responsibility of word and action can be lacking. One person's grievance becomes a "consensual" grievance.
I experienced this while working with a customer last Friday. An opinion turns into a conviction and before you know it Everyone agrees (whether it's true, or not) ... I watched it happen in a matter of seconds. The basis for this reasoning was Past interaction. Our major competitor was involved and most of our company used to work for that corporation.
It was interesting, to say the least ... without awareness, presence I would have drown. A potentially "ugly" situation was turned "friendly"
When I speak or act from my essence, true self ... there is a connection. That is Genuine. Ego is not. Ego usually has an ulterior motive and is quite transparent.
"A New Earth (pg. 42 ) REACTIVITY AND GRIEVANCES
Whereas resentment is often the emotion that goes with complaining, it may
also be accompanied by a stronger emotion such as anger or some other form
of upset. In this way, it becomes more highly charged energetically.
Complaining then turns into reactivity, another of the ego's ways of
strengthening itself. There are many people who are always waiting for the
next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed about – and it never
takes long before they find it. “This is an outrage,” they say. “How dare
you...” “ I resent this.” They are addicted to upset and anger as others are to a
drug. Through reacting against this or that they assert and strengthen their
feeling of self.
A long-standing resentment is called a grievance. To carry a grievance
is to be in a permanent state of “against,” and that is why grievances
constitute a significant part of many people's ego. Collective grievances can
survive for centuries in the psyche of a nation or tribe and fuel a never-
ending cycle of violence.
A grievance is a strong negative emotion connected to an event in the
sometimes distant past that is being kept alive by compulsive thinking, by
retelling the story in the head or out loud of “what someone did to me” or “
what someone did to us.” A grievance will also contaminate other areas of
your life. For example, while you think about and feel your grievance, its
negative emotional energy can distort your perception of an event that is
happening in the present or influence the way in which you speak or behave
to ward someone in the present. One strong grievance is enough to
contaminate large areas of your life and keep you in the grip of the ego.
It requires honesty to see whether you still harbor grievances, whether
there is someone in your life you have not completely forgiven, an “enemy.”
If you do, become aware of the grievance both on the level of thought as well
as emotion, that is to say, be ware of the thoughts that keep it alive, and feel
the emotion that is the body's response to those thoughts. Don't try to let go
of the grievance. Trying to let go, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness
happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to
strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place. The seeing is
freeing. Jesus' teaching to “Forgive your enemies” is essentially about the
undoing of one of the main egoic structures in the human mind.
The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your
grievance about the past can do that. And what is a grievance? The baggage
of old thought and emotion."