It's all all-right --- the horrifying part of the wheel presents itself -- we tremble and despair -- we get angry -- we argue and hold to our righteousness and never relent -- we criticize and complain behind the back --- we remark on the manipulativeness of the one, the power play of the other -- we attack out-right and reveal our own inner cruelty, in person, in typed words, on the astral -- we have secret ambitions to sculpt a new Pieta -- we have secret agendas to rule the world -- we have secret agendas to be loved -- we have secret agendas to just get by -- we summarily step on anyone who gets in our way --- self-self-self-ego-ego-ego-power-power-power -- destruction, mayhem, my god-is-better-than-yours, my philosophy-is-better-than-yours, my mentor-is-better-than-yours, our mentor loves me more than he loves you -- I-can't-wait-for-you-to-get-your-come-up'ns -- I was right you were wrong -- let me really get you where you live and call you slut-whore-c*unt --- yes I'm spiritually advanced but I play on these playgrounds -- it's folly when
I say it's folly, not when you are ignoring me...
The audience is duly mortified and scared and indignant. How dare these actors say and do these things? The world is going to end -- the earth is going to cease -- horrors and horrors will come.
The wheel then shifts. "Oh, not that love-thing!" -- love of platitudes -- love-of-rote -- love with no balls -- mechanical love -- insincere love -- empty-shell-and-snickering-love -- treacherous love -- look-at those-idiotic americans love -- flower-children love -- I-don't-believe-a-word-you-say love -- manipulative love -- evangelistic love -- love-and-hate-in-the-same-breath love -- I-love-you-but-f*uck-you love -- bullshit love.
The audience is bored.
And then, the wheel shifts again, and a boundless light of love and beauty shines. It's almost unfamiliar, it's blinding to some, and warming to the others. I inhale. When I exhale, it doesn't leave-- it's really there! It's really there! How could I not be grateful for it? I kiss the ground, and tears of joy abound. It matters not what the audience is saying. I bask in its heat, and let it renew me.
And then, time to give back. It's all about the giving back. It's all about the giving!
I love you Ellen, and always have.
And Lori, and Daphne, and Angela, and Kris, and Della my dear friend -- and John, both of them -- and Daniel and River, and Maiveeta whom I've only just met -- and Rudi, and Elliot, and Erik, and Jahn, and Jennifer, and Monica, and there are others ...
And of course, Michael. Michael is the reason I'm here. I won't lie and tell you otherwise, and I couldn't give a fig how you regard it. I love Michael with all of my heart. I have known him in many lifetimes. He is the reason I'm even alive at this moment. A lot of weight to put on him, but I know he can pass it to the wind.
The wheel turns again. We can disagree and bicker again tomorrow.
Eat, drink and be merry,
For tomorrow we die...
