The Fine Art of Self-Centeredness
Assertion: To initially approach No-Self, the Self must be utilized.
“Self” defined as what you realistically view in the mirror and not to be confused with ego states.
“Realistically” defined as the awareness of the possibility of yourself having a deluded or semi-deluded habitual viewpoint of being alone or isolated from all other people or energetic qualities. i.e., you “put yourself down” on a regular basis, whether consciously or not, and are trying to learn to deal with this situation for the purpose of self/no-self improvement.
“No-Self” defined as the spiritually-intact energy form which is not limited to, but possibly confined within, the human body/mind principle. I am referring directly to an energy form which we all are but are basically unaware of being.
So, enough of this “definition” thing, already.
My ultimate goal, as a spiritually-energetic body or soul, is to escape the seemingly eternal cycle of physical birth/death/rebirth. I go about approaching this goal by making my best attempt to drill permanently into my consciousness that I am an eternal life force and must use the powers present in my physical body/mind principle to learn all that is needed to achieve this endeavor. In other words, “physician, heal thyself” first, so that “The Work” of spiritually progressing can occur.
Now, how do I go about tending to my spiritual self? Just knowing it and letting my Intent “play out” on its own accord? Is that enough to allow the evolutionary process to come about for an eventual “enlightenment” or release from this aforementioned cycle of physical life after life process? Is “just letting things happen as they” enough to eventually become enlightened” or is much more involved? Is there Work that needs to be done to become “enlightened”? i.e., is Intent functional without Will?
I am purposefully a self-centered person but, at one time, was not. I spun my wheels, or at least thought so, searching via this or that supposed spiritual/esoteric practice.
I literally immersed myself into the details of several “Ways”, hoping to find “the One Way” to spiritual liberation. And, honestly, I didn’t know what I was looking for but a fire within me drove me on, anyway.
And I have thus learned that this is very typical of the humankind, no matter what the century or particular ethnic background of the “searcher”. And, Ooops!, here come another (and hopefully the last) definition, as in “searcher”, here described as someone who is not totally satisfied with the religious/spiritual practice “handed down to them” in whatever way or form.
You know what I mean here. I practiced my parents’ religion until I made my own decision on what to spiritually practice.
………………………..
Now I will cut to the chase and ask the question, “Is “the search” ever over? Or, is there actually a total enlightenment? You know, like the Buddah purportedly experienced.
I assert that any path with heart IS Nirvana. And as a lay Buddhist priest, I define laughingly that this Nirvana, this Heaven is a house which we all build, us soul bodies, through the centuries. It is the bridge between self and no-self.
So, how have I personally “utilized self”? i.e., How have I been self-centered? First of all, how do I describe, “Make myself available to the Spirit.”? Does this require focus or not? Is self-discipline involved or even necessary? Or is “just laying back”, taking a serious chill pill just flowery words for being lackadaisical? Is utilizing self actually focused Will?
When I found my mind opening up some 30+ years ago I became a sponge in this “immersion” of myself into several different Ways. T.M., the Yogas, Zazen, prayer, Reiki, drug-induced states of mind, study of Vedantic scriptures, Buddhist retreats, communing with gurus and asthetics, martial art studies, heck, I could make this list a lot longer here. And where did it get me?
Actually, I “became” something. Yeh, that’s right. I turned into a complete circle of rational faith, an entity without title, without a designation or goal. I became something like a fresh coat of paint. I am now constantly restoring my awareness to a state of self-acceptance so that living in the present is as fulfilling as it is possible.
I learnt that I needed to view my entire current life as one whole unit. And, thusly, it has become much more realistic for me to accept my “real self”, my no-self, as an eternal and divine energetic soul body. Yes, one unit, one whole incomprehensible life which I construct throughout all known realities which I learn to experience.
And, remarkably, it seems I’ve only just begun. Everything I’ve done is what I had to do at that particular time in my current life. I followed my instincts and learnt not to repeat mistakes made. I let my common sense decipher what worked for me and what would eventually fall to the wayside of my path. And then, maybe, I’ve just been lucky. Who knows what’s “meant to be” until after it’s already happened?
The essence of living “my life” is immortal.
And just how do I live my “Self-Centered” life?
I avoid passing judgement, for it reflects the level of my self-acceptance. I remind myself that struggle comes from my own defenses. I do not impose my past upon my present. I listen to my bodys’ responses of emotional or physical stress and choose my behavior accordingly. I keep my attention on the here and now through meditation, exercise and art forms, and my personal relationships. I do not struggle against things or situations. I remind myself daily that the world “out there” is a reflection of my world “in here”. I pay attention to my inner life and follow my intuition. I do not contaminate my mind and body with “toxics”. I live and think healthy. I judge my worth by myself. And I always look for reminders that the physical world is a reflection of a deeper, purer and more-balanced higher Good.
All of these points direct me towards a wholeness which I know I ultimately share with all humankind and our universe. It is my road to freedom, my Friends!
Respectfully, Tommy Two Feathers, 02/26/-7