Topic: Impeccability

[Zamurito]

I wish I could know more about what other people have experienced in attempting to be impeccable.  I have found that it is immensely difficult to keep at it but as time goes on I become more and more convinced that the effort is very important. 

All my life I have cowered behind my self-image, hoping that no one will find out my secret: that I am really a loathsome asshole with all sorts of base motives, absurd conceits, and colossal laziness all circulating in the background.  The ins and outs of the exercise of cultivating my image and shoring it up have consumed me all this time and still do today.  All it takes is one well-aimed insult and my self-importance is off and roaring in a stupid, sputtering, rage.

Increasingly I find that impeccability is a very practical alternative as an organizing principle.  It is always there and available.  "When in doubt, be impeccable." 

Particularly when my energy is low and I feel myself wasting what little I have left in feelings of self-pity, or resentment at others, or frustration with the vagaries of fate, I find that just trying to be impeccable for five minutes can turn the tide. 

Striving to be impeccable can transform any activity.  From one point of view what we do is absurd, meaningless, and pointless because all we have to look forward to is decline and, ultimately, annihilation.  But if you adopt the position of controlled folly where you acknowledge that it is all pointless but then act as if it really mattered, the simplest act acquires drama, exhilaration, and flair. 

I always used to ask how I would preserve my individuality if I gave up my mask.  What would happen to me?  Wouldn't I lose my bearings and my sanity?

More and more I feel that I can keep my cohesion if I anchor it in impeccability.  Would it be true to say that ‘impeccable behavior’ is the only act that can’t be put under siege? 

Paradoxically, when I stop trying to appear one thing or another and simply try to do what I am doing impeccably, there is a feeling of something that was stopped up flowing more freely.  And that flowing whatever is not what I usually consider to be me.  Yet there is nevertheless a feeling of power and a sense in which that flow is available to my purposes.  But, again paradoxically, my purposes seem less my own and the idea of decisions being like acquiescence…seems a better description. 

[Jennifer-]

A 'petty tyrant' can be helpful in this..

Its been my own experience that when you live from the heart and not the mind.. you will always make the 'right' choice.

[Michael]

A 'petty tyrant' can be helpful in this..

Its been my own experience that when you live from the heart and not the mind.. you will always make the 'right' choice.

true - but easier said than done . i recall one day, when the world shifted for me . till then i had been seeing the world through the mind of my parents and schooling - my received mind.

in a flash, the landscape shifted and rearranged - i saw emphasis in a different way . that is the best way i can describe it . and this new way was a seeing from my heart, but until that moment, i would not have understood what i am now saying.

when i say heart, i don't mean 'emotional' in the usual way we use that . i had become accustomed to see the arrangement of importance in a spacial way that was essentially me in a physical functional scheme . on the shift, i saw the items of my world literally rearrange themselves through my feelings of what was actually happening on an energetic level.  i felt energy, instead of talked or thought it . my heart awoke, and my eyes saw a world behind the world.

i will add - i was truly gobsmacked!

now, i try to share that real world with those who get caught in the mind world . some listen, and with their own seeing, add to mine and we reveal an even deeper view . others politely or impolitely give off a one-liner that tells me, i'm pissing in the wind - but even pissing in the wind is an act of love.

[Jennifer-]

It's all easier said then done, isnt it. Until you do it, and keep doing it until you breathe whatever it is you are doing.. and then stop.

It took a million tiny deaths, an enternity of living within the darkest of darkness, to emerge with eyes of heart.

Love has no attachments...it IS.

[Jennifer-]

Thru paper lips and fingertips the skies turn gray.

[erismoksha]

Guys, heart and mind is off topic from impeccable, at least what Zam is trying to express.

Zam, impeccability is about being, conscious and aware.

I know you're assessment, when I read it, its very harsh of a measure, punishing oneself. There's no sense in abusing yourself, saying you're an asshole, and so forth. In this manner, you're judging your own self. That's not impeccable, not the nature of impeccability.

Beating our 'self-importance' and beating ourselves up with name-calling are two different things.

Identification of the self-importance, being 'aware' and conscious, stalking that which does hinder us, catching mind, and bringing the fleeting mind back in the Now, over and over and over if necessary, though exhausting, is impeccable.

Raven mentioned heart - Michael mentioned love, that's not about emotional tying - I will say part of being impeccable is loving and respecting yourself.

If you can buckle down, and do that, not a superficial love even, but achieve that, not punish yourself for being imperfect, flawed, or human for Gods sake, that's impeccable.

But going beyond even that - keeping it in mind, if necessary, focused, in here and now, and even if you simply must tell yourself "I am impeccable," or "I am capable of being impeccable," then do it.

You're doing fine, except the beating up on self. Let that aspect go - that's not going to help you.

[nichi]

All my life I have cowered behind my self-image, hoping that no one will find out my secret: that I am really a loathsome asshole with all sorts of base motives, absurd conceits, and colossal laziness all circulating in the background.  The ins and outs of the exercise of cultivating my image and shoring it up have consumed me all this time and still do today.  All it takes is one well-aimed insult and my self-importance is off and roaring in a stupid, sputtering, rage.

Z, I know exactly what you mean here -- loathsome asshole, lazy, good-for-nothing, "taking up good air"! I have that as well, though I'm not too much of a roarer. "Letting loose" is the exception for me -- I tend more to be either a brooder or a wicked "objective" entity silently taking notes in the background. I have surely become out of grace with Self and Spirit in these times. Or I worry -- I branch out, protecting not only myself but those dear in my life. Or I should say that I 'fancy' that I protect them:  I've come to see my protection skills as pure folly as well.

A wise man said to me, "Stop chasing your image in others' heads" and, "Get a grip on your controlled folly, young lady...." Both statements, so true! (Except the 'young' part, heheh) My capacity to recall this learning was very recently put to the test.

What works for me is to switch ap back to spirit. You put it so well here:

......my purposes seem less my own and the idea of decisions being like acquiescence......

Yes, elegant acquiescence.... it couldn't get more impeccable than that, eh? As a worthy object of attention and focus, the range of spirit knows no bounds.

[nichi]

There is another tack here, which goes to (in)accessibility and invisibility. If one has truly perfected the art of inaccessibility, then nothing anyone else can say about "one" can be taken seriously. One knows, then, that the opinions are merely assumptions.

And to throw a few more cliches onto the heap:
"Less is more!"
and
"What you think of me is none of my business."
 

[Angela]

All my life I have cowered behind my self-image, hoping that no one will find out my secret: that I am really a loathsome asshole with all sorts of base motives, absurd conceits, and colossal laziness all circulating in the background.  The ins and outs of the exercise of cultivating my image and shoring it up have consumed me all this time and still do today.  All it takes is one well-aimed insult and my self-importance is off and roaring in a stupid, sputtering, rage.

Who, what, where ...encourages these programs?  What do You think you should do to terminate the programs?  What does your Heart say?
Love,
Ang

[Zamurito]

Who, what, where ...encourages these programs?  What do You think you should do to terminate the programs?

Good points...and they fit together perfectly.  What I've been shown in Dreaming are THE programs, and my first call to action will be further recapitulation.  What I was shown are some oldies (programs) that I obviously didn't address properly the first recap around.  Who, what, where and when are these encouraged?  That's another whole topic in and of itself. 

Another troublesome issue is something that I've chatted with Gonz about.  It's a re-occuring Dream, which is a replay of what happened in real life many years ago, when I terminated a mans life with a bullet thru his left eye at close range.  Let's just say it's not a pleasant Dream.  There's something there I need to understand, and so far I'm just not 'getting it.'   

What does your Heart say?
Love,
Ang

Heart?  Who says I have a heart?  :-)  I'm like lion in the Wizzard of Oz.  Or was that the tin man??

Love you,

z

[Zamurito]

A man was teaching his Grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A
fight is going on inside me... It is a terrible fight and it is
between 2 wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you... And inside every other
person, too..."

They thought about it for a minute... Then one child asked his
grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old man simply replied...
"The one you feed."

[Angela]

Good points...and they fit together perfectly.  What I've been shown in Dreaming are THE programs, and my first call to action will be further recapitulation.  What I was shown are some oldies (programs) that I obviously didn't address properly the first recap around.  Who, what, where and when are these encouraged?  That's another whole topic in and of itself.

So start it...we're listening. 

Another troublesome issue is something that I've chatted with Gonz about.

That's a troublesome issue in itself.

It's a re-occuring Dream, which is a replay of what happened in real life many years ago, when I terminated a mans life with a bullet thru his left eye at close range.  Let's just say it's not a pleasant Dream.  There's something there I need to understand, and so far I'm just not 'getting it.'

I'm assuming this was in the Army...tell us about your Dream.  No wonder you can't get to sleep at night, Zammy.

Heart?  Who says I have a heart?  :-)  I'm like lion in the Wizzard of Oz.  Or was that the tin man??

Yes, it was the Tin Man...but I know you have a heart..I've seen it, heard it and felt it    Hey... at least your not the Scarecrow 

Love you too,
A

[daphne]

I wish I could know more about what other people have experienced in attempting to be impeccable. 

I have found that it's quite impossible to "attempt' to be impeccable. I either am or I am not. When I am, I know it; and when I am not, I know that too. That then becomes my experience, ie I have something to "measure" against - the knowing. Doesn't really matter at all whether others are or are not 'impeccable', because I really have no way of knowing. What matters is my own. I can "play" now and then at 'judging' others.. but hey! it loses it's allure after a while!!   

Just be yourself, Zam. Can't beat that for impeccability!! 

[Zamurito]

So start it...we're listening. 

We'll discuss this weekend.  I'm whipped after this relocation.

Love you too,
A

Love ya'

z

[Zamurito]

I have found that it's quite impossible to "attempt' to be impeccable. I either am or I am not. When I am, I know it; and when I am not, I know that too. That then becomes my experience, ie I have something to "measure" against - the knowing. Doesn't really matter at all whether others are or are not 'impeccable', because I really have no way of knowing. What matters is my own. I can "play" now and then at 'judging' others.. but hey! it loses it's allure after a while!!   

Just be yourself, Zam. Can't beat that for impeccability!! 

As Ang told me this morning on the phone, "Impeccability can be just another program."

That's what I'm doing:  Puting my feelings into a term and judging myself??  (I'm sure there's a better explanation, but I'm tired.)

Thanks Daph, you hit the nail on the head

z