But we can go down in ceremony, and recommit - make the choice all over again ... it helps to bring the choice up to the surface.
Your words, m, touch a feeling in me that has been arising, but I wasn't sure of what it was and is until maybe right now. Just this moment, like a recommitment needed which is humbling me, something making me more and more need to bring it to the surface, whatever it is. I have dealt with it a couple of times in some things I have posted here but these sensings have not congealed for me yet. I am trying to put into words here something which I cannot now do. I have to go deeper. I never experienced any kind of mid-life crisis, as I hear guys do often when they're in their 40's or something. Guess I've been to busy or too focused to let some things enter me or rise up in me, I dunno. Something maybe I have been masking. Maybe it's just a self-doubt which I have never had before, I dunno.
There is "a vibration in my force", though, and I'm not sure how to interpret it.
t