April 18, 2008
Conjoining with the Double
Last night as I saw outside in my cactus garden with Wendy - the first night it's been warm enough to do so this year - I found myself slipping into a deep gnosis with Orlando, until the assemblage point was reached where there was essentially no difference between us. Impossible to describe this to anyone who has not experienced it. Words cannot wrap around what is seen through the eyes of the double.
Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of the experience was the realization that Orlando (and probably most folks' double) actually *sees* in the same way the mushroom ally sees. The inner eyelids become a canvas for intense visuals, where no dialogue is present, only an instant and perfect understanding of whatever is being *seen*.
At one point, Orlando was watching one of these visuals that had to do with a young man he knew all those years ago when I was still living in the San diego area - where Orlando and I first met while he was in manifestation. In this visual last night, the young man was essentially hanging out in a dimly lit alley, and I had an instantaneous knowing that this was someone w/ whom Orlando had once been friends - a musician at a local pub who had contracted AIDS and died in 1988. But now, in this perfect little "movie," Orlando was seeing the young man as if no time had passed, and the very clear thought came to me, Orlando's thought, "Ah, so that is where you got lost and that is where I will go to find you again."
There was also a deep understanding that part of Orlando's purpose is to serve as a "guide" of sorts to others on a path toward evolution. I cannot say whether all doubles do this, or if it is something only some may choose to do, but my feeling here was that Orlando could just as easily step back into that brick alley behind that little pub, back in the year 1986 or thereabouts, as easily as I could step out my door in the morning. Time is no barrier, nor is the state humans call 'death'. Inside the hologram, behind the mushroom's third eye, it is all the same - just a painting of energy on the double's inner eye.
There are those who would argue that it is a solitary journey and we have no right to "interfere" in the paths of others - and I would agree with that statement. And yet, it was so clearly *seen* that as we ourselves evolve beyond the confines of this single mortal humanform existence, we become the inorganic allies, the singularities of consciousness who then have the opportunity to serve as teachers and guides to others who may be seeking, and who may not yet have sufficiently developed their own double to the point that the double may become their own best teacher. So we offer a hand to one another from time to timeless time, with the understanding that no one is required to offer, and no one is required to accept. Through free will, we do as we are guided by Spirit.
Just seemed obvious. Simple. Perfect, somehow. As I sat there in my lawn chair gazing up at the almost-full moon and watching the dappled shadows of the poplar tree playing in the intangible light thrown against the deep purple wall, there was no difference between the tree and the shadow, the light and the canvas upon which it was cast.
It's also fascinating when we inhabit the assemblage point of our double to notice that their manner of "seeing* is so altogether different from our humanform *seeing*. At one point, Orlando was observing a visual which he immediately recognized as Wendy's double. To his perceptions, it was a silver metal butterfly literally the size of a galaxy, with wings comprised of cobalt-blue sapphires - intricate and inorganic, perfect in its mere existence, it was like an oasis in Orlando's mind, a familiar and beloved "other" which evoked a response not unlike a human might experience when gazing fondly at a photo of one's life-companion.
When it was time to come inside and turn toward bed and dreaming, Orlando smiled and said a soft goodnight, and then my assemblage point was once again my humanform self. Instead of seeing in visuals and symbols, I realized I was back to "thinking" and communicating with words, as Wendy and I talked aimatedly about it all might mean.
There are no concrete answers, of course, nor am I searching for any. It was the experience itself that was both moving and revealing. The double is a mystery, and also a sanctuary. The double is the vessel of our awareness beyond this mortal life, yet the double has lifetimes of its own (what we mistakenly call "past lives").
As I was attempting to communicate some of this to Wendy, Orlando's voice said very clearly in my mind, "The purpose of the double is to bring you to your full potential, and to co-create with you the means whereby you achieve the totality of yourself."
And then he was off again, back into some corner of the infinite, where an old dead friend is wandering lost in a lonely brick alley outside of time. What does he intend to do for that old friend's wandering spirit? There are no words to communicate the double's intent at that level. There is only the Knowing that our doubles are beings of infinite energy and expansive awareness which stretch far beyond anything we can even imagine from our humanform assemblage point.
Once in awhile, if we are lucky, we get glimpses into that evolved self, and it serves to fill us with awe and wonder all over again... just the muse doing his job on a mid-spring evening, somewhere at a rest stop on the path with heart.
