I didn't visit the Place of No Pity this Manitou. My Intent was homebound this Winter. I am recollecting, gathering again, my energy for what lies ahead of me, what is coming to me now.
This Place is terrible for me, heart-rending. It could empty me if I gave myself to it. So I don't. I don't always enjoy leaving my earthbody, for I have fears yet faced, as I will always. That is why maybe I have put my brakes on, with regards to certain matters. I am very guilty of laying out traps before me, because of how I lanquish in my contentment. And, for self-preservation, this does not bother me at all. I am not worried with what I am, so I do not rock my boat much anymore.
Am I a good example for you all because I have identified my monsters and choose to flip them the bird?
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I feel I need to respond tom. i have left you to your own process for some time now - since the sacred fire post. to be honest i haven't seen a 'call' to say much. i really like your presence, and you bring a lot of wealth to this space, as i see you do to everyone in your own world.
however raja put his pesky finger on something that has been lingering, waiting for such a finger, and unfortunately he has left it to me to follow up. just know that it is you who is 'calling', who triggered raja to speak.
you have come so far, and have achieved so much, but there is something in your spirit that is not satisfied, just as there is something in 'you' that is satisfied. i don't have a lot of time just now, so i shall have to be brief, and you should take this into your meditation for insight.
you are on a verge, which is in fact a precipice. your question is, go over or sit pretty.
if you sit pretty, you will have made a decent life, and death will find you a 'good man', who has spread a decent blanket for yourself and others - he will smile and dispatch you to the upper levels of chance.
if you jump, you have made wings that until you jump you will never know they are there.
to my sight, you have evolved beyond your life situation - ie, it will not help you go past this point. I would not suggest otherwise, except that you have called it, more than once. now you are faced with a difficult decision, and I bet you know that already.
what to do?
I can't say, but I'll tell you for certain, it has to be absolute and dramatic. you are no novice, so i'm not going to tell you your action. what I will tell you, is that a fork in the road is approaching. and the path i am on the side of, is the dangerous one, the one that says goodbye to everything you know.
i would not speak so if i didn't love you tom - it is our duty to tell each other, who are true aspirants. just know that this life is about you and only you, and only your solitary link to spirit - sans family, garden, ancestors, home, job, identity. you haven't a lot of time left, and i see a final offering from spirit. you have the courage, and the nobility to explain to your past.
it will be up to you transhkent.