A zealous disciple expressed a desire to teach others the Truth and asked
the Master what he thought about this. The Master said, "Wait."
Each year the disciple would return with the same request and each time the Master would give him the same reply: "Wait."
One day he said to the Master, "When will I be ready to teach?"
Said the Master, "When your excessive eagerness to teach has left you."
Anthony de Mello, SJ
I think this is what I am just now learning through viewing my own actions changing slowly over the last year or two. It's almost like, "Who cares?" Don't we all have to find our own true path by ourselves, anyway, irregardless of what we think we have "learned" from others?
Do the so-called lessons which I try to pass on to others really mean a fig? Are my so-called students really just those who are fascinated by all I do for a while and then drift off?
So it seems. I slowly come to think that I have been bullshitting myself all these years and have nothing to offer but myself to myself.
Who will long remember when I pass this earthplane, anyway? A few for a little while, then they go on to more pleasant memories, like I do with my own loved ones who pass.
Ho hum. Life goes on inside my fantasy.
Or have I just been working too many hours lately?
ha.