Topic: Story sake

[runningstream]

My friend and i began to speak about the drug they have here which is sweeping

across the country called ice. "meth amphetamine."

which was peculiar because a program was on television apparently and it was on my

mind this morning .


apparently the person/s here were cooking it , as is indicated by the large pots ,

in the back shed and other stuff , well i was oblivious .


Even if the camouflage pots and hydroponic chemicals , and light cupboards etc

etc indicate growing some elicit herbs before i arrived


"previous tenants".


some dramas on the homestead ,



bikers and similar loose ends , i even had my four tyres punctured just driving into

the place when i first arrived.



somethings i feel like intervening and taking certain things into my own hands ,


this week i hear the words , " stick to the path " play in my head .



today i felt that deflating sense that arrive s which brings relief

upon the release of something gripped tightly ,


in particular past things that i held which made me angry .


which litter the future .



also that it does not matter , the way it did . that i can FORGIVE  every body and


it will free me of it all .



the sense this left me with in a recapitulatory way



was peace .


to even approach it within my awareness.

[Nichi]

Now you are making me think, you should follow through with leaving: bikers who are harassing you and your landlord, the history of the place as a meth-lab, the illegal stuff growing... Yes, maybe it is time to find new vistas.

[Michael]

Runningstream, I'm not surprised about what you recount with your girlfriend.

[runningstream]

and i am not surprised about you being not surprised about what i recount .

we see each other coming.

[runningstream]

it follows a loop ,

i can almost tell you what comes next , i can tell you it comes back to , "all men

are assholes" and abandonment .


what said becomes polarised , and repeated back so , in the form of an argument ,

asking for a defense , to what has not been given .


that's the simple version , my memory recall is not the best to give you exact details .

so i did not give them .


i can remember some of what has just happened though .


She just called , asked if i really wanted to break up because she saw us together for ever ,


i just told her again , that i wanted her to break her loops , and not defend them

. to read a book or something ,


because she does not listen to me.



god if only she could hear what im saying and not fight me we would stay together .


i cant keep running around in that circle any more.

[runningstream]

http://youtu.be/v9qr-YKWzq0

[runningstream]

http://youtu.be/1SiylvmFI_8

[runningstream]

You have to ask

"And which angel am I ?"

[Michael]

I am not surprised for numerous reasons. For one, it is common for people who have a connection to the Path, to have difficulties with their partners, with whom they have a kind of karmic link, which does not translate to shared understandings of spiritual matters.

For another, it is common for men to have difficulty in getting women to relate on a cogitative level. Women trend to relate emotionally, and all the talk of intellectual insights into how we operate, fall of deaf ears with women - they are seeing a completely different situation.

Then for another, your task, as with all of us, is to translate your cogitative understandings in an affective way. You are trying to reach across from your understandings to another person's understandings. It doesn't work that way. You have to apply your understandings to yourself for a such a long time that you forget them, and they become a part of your natural behavior. Those understandings have to sink down into your body and personality. Instead of reaching across to the mind of another, you inculcate the comprehension into your being, then link to the other from your being, not your comprehension. Your girlfriend need know nothing of your mental insights, as what she wants is the direct end result, coming from your emotions and behavior, not your mind.

Lastly, for the reason that you don't yet seem to understand where she is coming from. You understand that she doesn't get where you are coming from. This is unfortunate because she sounds like she is wanting to make an effort to have this relationship work somehow - that is worthwhile. Not everyone is so keen. Would be a pity to lose such a friend.

[Jahn]

as with all of us, is to translate your cogitative understandings in an affective way. You are trying to reach across from your understandings to another person's understandings. It doesn't work that way. You have to apply your understandings to yourself for a such a long time that you forget them, and they become a part of your natural behavior. Those understandings have to sink down into your body and personality.

Yes, that is how it works.
We have to be The transformation within our bones.

[runningstream]

yes thanks ,

as i am sure you could imagine , things are complicated , so that's all duly noted .

the simplest way i can put it would be ,


If somebody is capable of making the same patterns as a mess for others to step

over , the only way to stop that situation would be to dis continue making the

same mess.


what you said about her wanting to make an effort has been me all along also .

i am all about the doing of the path too .


its a complimentary situation is required to do it .


that would require a man taking his role and a woman hers , which compliment

those embodiments .


and having an impediment placed in the way of that combination , requires its

removal

or else we continue to face those same obstacles .


i have seen it a lot of times now , women who cant see whats in front of them

because past experiences has make them defensive to the point of being some

what closed .


Don't get me wrong Sophia is a hell of a good woman ,

that s not the problem , communication certainly is an issue , yet its an issue of

communicating presently with the past .


its is not that i feel i need to listen to the demands of that injured self , its that i

feel that needs to be cleaned up  .


and i can also totally understand why should would feel most men are dickheads ,


"because they certainly could be"


when your caught in the middle of a loop and wondering how the hell this relates

to anything present , and it is being placed as personal . That is a major drain .

[runningstream]

i feel pretty bad

a small native rodent was wandering around the lounge room before looking

innocent and

i believe it may be because i had put rat sak poison on the window sill the last couple nights


and mummy has not come home


they had tried to chew the lid of the rubbish bin

making a loud grating sound during the night in the kitchen


i feel i was not left with any other choice


they may be the size of rats

yet they are actually quite cute although their domestic habits may be similar




also i have finally a radio that picks up a reception here to hear music

its a car stereo running off twelve volt battery


it wafted a wonderful feeling through the place last night


simultaneously as i had hooked it all up and got it working



a friend sent me a picture of her first guitar "new to her"


it was the exact same brand size color of my first guitar 



edit: "the creature i speak of has just ran between my legs as i sit at the table "

behind the sink cupboards 

[runningstream]

well it was her energy that i phoned today

i did not know it would be

i asked

i think i have some of your dvds

love oh yes its love

it focuses on the 'core' business


i wonder which avatar incarnate i was witnessing

and dating


i wondered what it was the potency

i felt it like a hook

it was warm and intense

and we merged immediately

over that phone


she was silent mostly as she often is

i wondered about merging again


i wonder a lot

and a lot i wander


new lock in the car door

more complicated than the old one


window winder working for now

radio playing

solar tunes after charge


waiting for the sun

what did it mean


i read what they said

but im not sure they got it yet


yin yang


they stood on one side of the fence still

pointing at the other


i wait a lot


the bananas have their first bell


the magpie sat on the post with a pellet from the hounds


the sausages are frozen

cooking


pop says he could teach me how to hang up and break up

beef carcasses

my old friend slips in


i feel her energy differently it is light


like i was before


which incarnate mate was it now


soul friend


the one who listens and hears


it was different


yet i dont feel love the same way


my heart pours tears at the words


my body knows something i do not


walking these miles

on these paths


these hearts

with their building blocks which formulate their

existence


some colors fit

others do not


like working a pastel range

to find a harmonies balancing act



old friends transitioning

holding each other alight


comforts

familiar comforts


combinations

[runningstream]

All the way back to the foundation stone

Ive travelled

After the voice would"nt leave me alone in my sleep

I picked up the book we bought together

And read of soPhists and foundation stones

I never read any of it

Its just that her number fell from the cover

Must have been two in the morning


I don"t expect a soul to understand as usual

Yet i will blow the ceiling on this bullshit now

Its my perogative

What they have written in the water on that stone

Or whatever is done for

Trump cards and all

The confidence of fools is not the confidence of warriors

Knowing in their bones what they came for

I am actually watching it crescendo

Yet their will be new lines arriving

Its time this boat got some new water

I kean who arrives at work to do a job and finds a foundation

Stone sitting there seriously

New
Buckets new buckets

Dreaming awake

Asleep

Sonderful buckets
Last night


New lines

New clock


When enough was enough

[runningstream]

I have thrown the toys

Up the hallway

I am
Asked

In a splitting fashion to play again

Like the country music song


Or jerry springer

Now that the weight of the world is on



Tried to be on my own


Well play it backwards now

Ill get the tractor
Back the dog back

The wife back

You know the one

Im sure
Shes got a chainsaw

And shes lively and lovely


And love is this word

Where we do
What we want to each other


Although i have to stop now and ask

Why are you trying to hurt me

I did not sign up for that


Oh live your marble spill to the floor


Counting the


Bowlers